overreacting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
overreacting?
4
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 1:23pm
i have been dating this guy for a year now. Lately i have been seeing him less and less and then he started to stop by again more often. I attribute alot of absences to his problems that he is going through. But anyways the problem is he recently got a new cell phone and today i asked if he had a picture phone. He said yes and flipped it open, well when he did a picture of another woman came on and he took it off real quick. I asked him who that was and he said "oh that's my friend ___ , i must of missed her call." Well naturally my mind started to think things. How come after a year of exchanging i love yous with him he doesn't even have a picture of me on his phone but has one of her if she is just a friend? He has regular pictures of me, I asked him he had to be in front of her to take that picture and he said yes. So now I am wondering is that where his extra time was spent..while i was home alone waiting for him to stop by or even to call me. Or am I just being paranoid? HELP because i feel like this could be ended this weekend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: jmcelligott
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 1:42pm

Okay, so he took a picture of his friend and you assume that he is cheating on you with her?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jmcelligott
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 1:57pm

Had you heard about this friend before?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: jmcelligott
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 2:32pm
You say "the problem he is having" is that he got a cell phone? What exactly do you mean by that -- are you just talking about this one situation when a woman's picture popped up? Yes, he had to be standing in front of her but maybe he didn't even know her and was too embarrassed to say he's taking pictures of strangers he thinks are good-looking so he made up the "friend" story. There could be many explanations, but if you automatically jump to the conclusion he's cheating, I feel that is a result of more than him just getting a cell phone. I feel that you may have suspected this before, when he wasn't coming by so often. Am I right? I think you may have been having doubts during the past year with him, before he even got a cell phone. Right? So if that's true, there's a deeper problem in your relationship than just him getting a cell phone and having a picture on it of someone you don't know. If you can't trust the person you're with, if you're doubting his feelings for you for any reason, if you're suspecting him of cheating....you need to take a look at the relationship *as a whole* and determine if it's the right fit for you. A cell phone is not the problem here. Lack of trust is. Determine the reason for that and then you may be better able to determine if this is the type of relationship that works for you or not. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: jmcelligott
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 2:58pm
And if she's such a good friend, why haven't you heard of her before or met her?


Carrie