In the gray...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In the gray...
1
Thu, 02-12-2004 - 2:47pm
I have been with my boyfriend for about six months, and I am trying to figure out if this is a relationship I wish to continue.

My first issue is our age difference. I am 22 and he is 37. The difference in our ages makes me question what I am searching for that I choose to date a man so much older than me. I think that I seek protection and refuge from a dating world that seems so savage and a society where casual sex (a trend I personally am not comfortable with) has become the norm.

Secondly, we come from totally different backgrounds and have different expectations regarding respect and relationships. I have found that with a little patience, we are usually able to discuss our issues in this area and come to a mutual understanding, but every so often a heated fight will break out because one of us broke a rule the other didn't know existed.

Thirdly, his life is not organized. He is constantly broke, has moved twice since I've known him, and his phone is on again off again which makes it difficult for me to reach him. He is very talented in a lot of areas, and would easily be able to find a job to support himself if he weren't so stubborn about being self-employed. He refuses to work for anybody but himself and this greatly increases the difficulty in getting a job (and frustrates me).

He is also super intelligent, caring, crazy funny, and a wonderful lover. We have the best time doing almost anything together and we never run out of things to talk about. He genuinely cares about me, and does the smallest most considerate things to make me happy. I am really confused about what to do and what I want, and this relationship is totally unlike any of my past ones so I have nothing to compare it to. I was not looking for a relationship when I met my boyfriend, but was swept away by him almost immediately. When my doubts subside, I feel truly happy and lucky to have this individual by my side, but when they come up again, I wonder what am I doing. Any insight?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: blubellee
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 7:24am

My only thoughts are that you are in a relationship that doesn't really have that much of a future.