Get back w/ex?
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| Fri, 02-13-2004 - 6:58pm |
Meanwhile, we have both gotten into relationships and just two days ago met up for the first time since the break-up. We both spilled our guts and concluded that we still love each other VERY much and that he realized what was wrong and he has changed as a person. He tells me that things are good in his relationship right now, but is willing to get back with me because I'm all he thinks about still!!! I am VERY touched after hearing this, only I can't quite get it past me that he IS willing to try again after I left with no warning (other than both of us knowing things weren't so hot). He has, however, expressed his concern about how this new girl will react to "if" he were to break up with her.
I definitely want to try again. My current relationship is ok, but I as well think about him constantly. I am unsure about two things:
1. Is it possible for this to work if we DO get back together?
-and-
2. Why do I find it so hard to believe him that he does want to try again after that way I handled the break-up?
Please help!!!
I don't even want to be spending V-Day with my current man - and suppossedly the same goes for my ex!!!
Thanks for any advice,
Emily :)

How exactly has he changed? What kind of time does he put into his hobby or work or anything else. Is his life balanced now-why and how?
'He tells me that things are good in his relationship right now, but is willing to get back with me because I'm all he thinks about still!!!'
Ouch! Wait a minute. He is in a good realtionship? that doesn't make sense. It can't be so good if he thinks he is in love with you? What if you get back together and he tells you 'things are good.' Are you going to wonder if he is going out to meet his ex the next day to spill his guts to her? Is he going to stay with her if you say no to getting back together? Do you want someone that is on the rebound?
'I can't quite get it past me that he IS willing to try again after I left with no warning...Why do I find it so hard to believe him that he does want to try again after that way I handled the break-up? '
Maybe it will help him to justify leaving his girlfriend with no warning when things are 'good'
'How exactly has he changed? What kind of time does he put into his hobby or work or anything else. Is his life balanced now-why and how?'
He told me that he realized that he had been putting his hobby first - to too much of an extreme. He has since the breakup almost ended his participation in the hobby. He also said that he sees how he is with "her" and notices a difference - as a result of cutting (way) back on the hobby (among other minor, but significant changes). BTW - I did mention that perhaps he feels he different with her simply because she is a different person than me - he says no.
'Maybe it will help him to justify leaving his girlfriend with no warning when things are 'good' '
I disagree - I know that the last thing he would want to do is to hurt anyone - at least in the same way I did (by leaving him with not telling first).
He tells me that he knows he wants to be with ME but he needs to first get over the hurdle of knowing that I will NEVER do this again!!!
I hope this open some windows.
ps. The person that answer you before answer my post also and I feel like she just criticizes people instead of helpping.
dkirk2000
I really realy don't know what to tell you about getting together with your ex. I guess you will really have to think about this thru - was his putting you last on his list the ONLY problem? was that the *problem* or an issue (symptom)? I don't have the answer to that. its possible that you were both very excited about seeing each other, you may have had some unfinished business to deal with (leaving the way you did), and you may be feeling very flattered (or not?) that he is willing to leave his current GF *for you*.
what I do think, however, (and I know this is not what you asked, but still) is that you really really need to break up with your current BF, no matter what happens with your ex. I think you are not being fair to him, or to you, you don't really love him.
sometimes - we just need to be on our own for a while, and think about what we want and what we don't want.
Ya see, the thing with my current bf - it's only been 2 months (I don't fall in love THAT soon). So are you saying it's a bad thing that I'm "talking behind his back", or "talking behind his back with the intentions unknown to him"?