am i crazy??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
am i crazy??
7
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 5:16pm
Hey there everybody!! Wow what a rough valentines day... not the sweet and romantic one i thought it would be. I need your help. I need to know if I'm being crazy and freaking out for nothing or....... Ok so last night me and fiance go to see the movie ''monster''. I dont know if you have seen it, but its about 2 lesbians and one that shoots people left and right. Anyways, a few times in the movie the two girls go at it. Jokinly, i lean over to my bf and tell him not too get too horny and he laughs. Later on that night we were talking about the movie and he tells how much that turned him on. I was apalled. How the hell can he be turned on by some psycopathic killer, ugly one at that, making out with some other crazy chick.. I dont get it. I was soooooo hurt. Of course, when we went to bed last night, he was getting all cuddly. I felt tottaly disgusted. Of course he wanted sex, he was all horny at the movies. Then he tells me im frekaing out for nothing and that he thought i knew that he gets turned on watching tv shows. just normal tv shows. Frig.. i think thats so gross.. and then he'll come to bed all horny cause of some other chick. SHouldnt he only have those feelings while hes with me.. IM so confused. I feel like I'm his little play toy. please, i need some input!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: lifeguard20
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 5:54pm
You might want to post your questions on the "let's talk about sex" board for more replies.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
In reply to: lifeguard20
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 6:45pm
I'm with you!! About a year ago i foung like ten playboys in my boyfriends room. I didn't really realize that it would hurt me so damn bad. BUt it did. I figured that if he loves me so much then why does he want to look at other naked women?! Since then he has thrown them away. That doesn't really fix the fact that he baught them to look at other women. I know how your feeling and i dont think that you are the one what is crazy. Guys suck and i just dont get them. Women are so smart! What was god thinking when he made guys!! haha just kidding!

LoLowebbs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
In reply to: lifeguard20
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 8:11pm
Personally I think you are overreacting. It doesn't make sense to me that you leaned over and said that to him at the movie, then you get upset when it turns out to be true! Men get turned on by visual stimulation. Some women do too. The sooner you can accept that as a fact of life, the sooner you will save yourself a lot of needless "hurt" and aggravation in your relationships. It has nothing to do with YOU. The naked human body is beautiful and it makes people horny. What is so hard about that for women to understand? Be honest...you never get turned on by something visual? TV, movie, photo, etc? That's hard to believe. Heck, the other day I paged through the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue and got turned on by it and I am a very hetero woman! It doesn't mean anything negative about my husband, for pete's sake! Cut your guy some slack. Fantasy is OK...it's human to fantasize and be visually stimulated. It doesn't automatically mean you're dissatisfied with real life. Sometimes it just means you enjoy real life more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
In reply to: lifeguard20
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 1:32am
I don't think you are crazy. Men, they can be confusing. I think it is normal for men though, most guys have this fantasy of two girls together. I don't understand where it comes from.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
In reply to: lifeguard20
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 12:03pm
I very much understand what you are talking about. In my "younger" years (i am 32), this would have started major issues for me too. In the last 2-3 yrs I have realized that men see things differently then women do. (Most) Women are very emotional about their sexual relationships. Not that all men are not, but they have a totally different perspective on it. Just because that are turned on by looking at women - naked - or otherwise, doesnt mean that we are not sexually stimulating to them or that they wish they could be having sex with that women. My df watches porn online and on tv (sometimes we watch it together.). He says that yeah, it turns him on ALOT sometimes. BUT he knows exactly who he wants to have sex with..me. When he sees an attractive lady he may think, "Damn, shes hot" , but, according to my df, he never thinks, "Damn, she hot, wish I could have sex with her instead of my df". WE, the women, are usually the ones doing all the comparing, not our men. WE are the ones thinking that he is wishing we had THOSE breast, or THOSE thighs, when in reality, its usually not true.

Sometimes we as women, have to just realize that men are visual and we are not so much.

Please dont let it be an issue. Maybe explain how you feel when he says these things. I dont know, but I hope that it helps. Take care.

PlayNICE

 

I am co cl for "Ask Dr. Ruth" board. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: lifeguard20
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 12:50pm


..please someone tell me this post is not for real...

I'd say there's something definitely wrong with a bloke who does not get turned on by two women engaging in, shall we say, intimate activities... surely noone over the age of 13 would expext their partner to just sit there feeling absolutely nothing and saying 'ugh, this is gross, I only look at YOU this way' or some such nonsense...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: lifeguard20
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 1:34pm
While I haven't seen the movie, I find it funny that we are talking about a serial killer movie, rated R - how steamy can the scene be?


Carrie