I'm so scared
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I'm so scared
| Wed, 02-18-2004 - 9:00am |
I've been seeing this guy for about 5 months. Everything was wonderful; we've spent every weekend, every holiday together. Then last Wednesday, right before Valentine's Day, he comes over and says that he wants a break. He says that he wants to be sure that its right. I don't understand what happened. He's always saying how lucky he feels to be with me. He puts me on such a pedestal. He also feels inferior to me, like I'm too good for him. I'm not; I love him and want to be with him. How can I make him see that and win him back?

You haven't done anything to lose him, so there might not be much you can do to "win him back." Clearly, this guy has been holding onto other feelings and concerns about the relationship that have finally come to the surface and are getting in his way. You mentioned that he feels inferior - this has nothing to do with you, but is a problem he has with his own self esteem. As things go further and the two of you feel closer, he may fear that he will not measure up and be able to hold you, so instead of losing you, he rejects you first. All you can do is to let him know that you care for him, and that if he truly wants to understand what's happening, just taking time won't help much. It would be much better if he saw someone to discuss his inner feelings with and get help in udnerstanding what it is inside him that is stopping him. This, of course, is an upsetting situation for you, and I'm sorry you have to go through it. Some guys are not able to directly communicate what's going on. They often do not know themselves. However, if we really listen to what they say, we can get little warning signs. Like him telling you he was not good enough for you, is a sign of fear and poor self esteem. It's good to pay attention to these warnings before they erupt as in this case.
Just remember this has to do with him, not you. All best wishes.
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Five months is a short time and when you are spending every day together during those five months, things get cloudy...
He probably needs space to figure out how he really feels, or if he's just getting caught up in everything.YOu need to do the same reevaluation.In the meantime, stay busy and give him his space.This is a decsion that he needs to make on his own time.
Good luck and stay positive,