excuse or just a hurting male pride?
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excuse or just a hurting male pride?
| Thu, 02-19-2004 - 4:40am |
i broke up with my boyfriend 10 months ago( we lived together for 2 years), the reason we broke up is that we used to argue so much and in the end we just got really nasty to each other. after a big fight 10 months ago i finally walked out. we both didn't really expect to break up but things just kept going wrong and wrong. during our break up we both dated some other people from time to time, but indeed we never really get over each other. after all these months self struggle we finally managed to be able to be quite friendly to each other. in the end of last year we started dating each other again. we went pretty fast especially after his one month holiday overseas. then i've noticed he's been quite cold to me from time to time. few days ago, we had a talk and i found out the reason he couldn't help being cold to me is that i dated a guy who's been kind of friend of us for few years. he said he would never date any girl i know because he doesn't want to hurt me. my dating this guy only shows that i don't really respect his feeling. he even suspected there were things going on between me and this guy before we broke up. he said he didn't know if he could ever get over this and he wants to slow things down with me. i agreed and left. now i want to know what is the best to do at this situation. i really want to make this work, but there is no point to me if a guy being cold to me while dating me. should i stick around , try to sooth his hurting male pride ?or should we just be friends for now? because to me it looks like he is not really ready to get back with me.
any advice? thanks very much!
any advice? thanks very much!

This is either something that he can work through wit you, or must move on..There is no in between. As I understand his hurt and reluctance, there needs to be trust here for this relationship to move anywhere. Have you ever considered counseling?Would that be something he would be willing to try?It can be quite helpful and can help you two work thru your problems.
Untill you BOTH meet this prtoblem head on, it will continue to resurface and erode at your relationship. With that said, this needs to be something that he forgives completley in order to be able to move on fully. Its not fair to stay with you, but continually repremanding you for something you cant take back.Forgiving means just that- not constantly throwing it back in your face.
Good luck to both of you, it sounds like with a little bit of hard work, you guys can work through this..
this guy i dated briefly is a friend of us for few years, he was quite fond of me when i was with my boyfriend, and my bf is aware of this. i started dating him months after i broke up with my bf. i didn't intentionally tell him about it because it is quite hard for us to talk about this kind of thing and i don't think it is necessary eitehr. but as we have too many common friends so somehow he got to know about this before we made up. i thought he understood that this was past, shouldn't be an issue between us. but...
unfortunately he is a very pround person, i can hardly image he would go for counseling. now i don't know should i stop contacting him, give him time and space to think about it, or should i suggest him to meet up to talk about it?