Need some honest opinions
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Need some honest opinions
| Thu, 02-19-2004 - 11:20pm |
My boyfriend and I have gotten into a bit of a fight, and I'm hoping for some brutally honest opinions. My boyfriend had to work late one night this week, and then went out with his friends all the other evenings, sometimes coming home after 11 and once around 9ish I think. He told me today that he was sorry his schedule had been so crazy and that he hadn't had a chance to hang out with me much, and that he told his brother he would go out to dinner with him and then have a couple drinks (he doesn't see his brother much). He said he would be a little late tonight, but that he would spend the next couple of nights with me. Well I called him around 9:45 to see where he is, and he was hanging out with this girl Shannon (a cousin of one of his friends) and her boyfriend. I was a little upset but didn't tell him, and asked how long he would be. He said he would be a while. We then hung up with him noticing I was mad, and then I called him at about 10:45ish. He asked why I was upset before, and I told him that if he really was sorry about not being able to spend time with me, then he should have come home after he was done hanging out with his brother, instead of going to have out with people he had already seen this week (he hung out with them on Tuesday i think). He said that he told me he was going to be late, and that it shouldn't be a big deal. I said it wouldn't be, if he would just tell me the truth. He said he wasn't lying and he said he didn't understand why I was so upset. Am I being stupid? He told me he would be late, so should it really matter who he is hanging out with? I'm like sooo upset right now that I've just been sitting here crying but I don't know if I'm just being totally unreasonable or if my boyfriend is being a total jerk. I know I have trust issues with him (due to my previous relationships) so I just can't help but think there is some girl over there or something that he is talking to.. because why else would he want to hang out with them and not me??? I'm so confused... Please help.

Sorry for your pain.
Carrie
I was married for 21 years, and could walk away without any regrets because through 21 years and two children, we had no emotional connection at all. It was partly me not wanting to connect for fear of abandonment, and him not knowing how to connect and being unable to learn. Two things we could have worked through, but unfortunately, he didn't want to, and I had so much resentment about that, I had to get out.
So, yes, it may be that you are not "connected". Take a closer look.
Pam
Pam
The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.