opposites attract?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
opposites attract?
4
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 10:39pm
Hi,

I have been seeing a guy exclusively for over three weeks and he seemed to be caring, sensitive and affectionate but after awhile he showed his true colors and is very opinionated and sometimes insensitive. We seem to be opposites and he agrees. I am more of an introvert who puts my guys at the center of my universe while he is an extrovert and social butterfly who has many friends. I have three very close friends and they are married so I usually get to go out with them once a month. He is use to seeing his friends twice a week and when we go out with or see them, I feel as if I'm not getting enough attention and when I told him that, he started to get pissed. He is 24 and I am 28 so I got out of the partying life when I was around 24 but he still may be too immature to pacify me a little on that. He is also a smoker/ social drinker who can go out every night when he's on vacation and I will drink a few drinks and be done and want to have a more relaxing vacation. Our family background is pretty different also whereas my mom just died last year and I live with my straight laced father while his mom is only 12 years older than me and a smoker and foul mouthed person unlike my "saintly" mom. The main problem is that we disagree on many things but I am really trying to understand him and compromise on a few things like his hunting which I am adamantly against. I feel that we can somehow balance each other out and can somewhat meet in the middle but I don't know how. Also he can sometimes get offended when I raise my concerns so I have to be tactful. Do we have any chance in hell?
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 12:40pm
How long did you know him before you were exclusive?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 6:49pm
From someone who is older and has many more years of relationship experience under her belt than you do...IMO you are not compatible. Sometimes opposites attract, depending on specifically which things you are opposites about. In your case, I don't think it sounds like a good match.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 8:20pm
Hi blondie,

We actually only knew each other for two weeks and this is going to be our fourth week. I wanted to take it a little slower and then the sex got involved and he said that once two people sleep together, there shouldn't be anyone else involved. He has a point there but i should have taken it slower still. Maybe it is because I am 4 years older that he does expect and want different things out of a relationship. I want to be more settled soon and stupidly maybe, and with only one friend in my area, others away, I spend too much time doting on him and when we'll see each other which is only 3 times a week. But it does seem a little uncompatible to me right now but he does make me smile when I am with him.

Amy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 1:34pm
Hi,

I just wanted to say that I think I agree with you. He and I saw each other out on Saturday at a club and we talked for a little but then i wanted to see him on Sunday to spend some quality time and he went out and he was too tired to drive 30 min. to see me at night. He seems really immature and not like he wants a girlfriend, only maybe at his convenience. He also said I am being too possessive and hung up so I am NOT calling him back! With dealing with my mom's death last year, I need someone to be there for me, not aggravate me. This is a tough few days for me though because I really did like the sweet, caring guy he started out as. Thanks for the feedback.

Amy