Difference between break & break up?
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Difference between break & break up?
| Thu, 04-01-2004 - 6:49pm |
Hello everyone - My boyfriend & I have been together for just about 4 months....
Just curious, he has just decided that he needs a *break* or some *space* from me. I am not handling this well at all!!! Things were great and all of a sudden this? He is having some emotional problems right now, he has been through a lot and i guess he is trying to find himself and learn how to deal with certain issues in his life. Anyway we had a talk the other night because he has been distant and he told me that he needed a *break*. Naturally I started crying my eyes out! And I started telling him how I knew i was losing him, and that i feel like he doesn't love me now etc... He keeps reassuring me that yes he still loves me, and he is not breaking my heart and that I am not losing him at all! But I feel so different! My own insecurities I guess. What do I do?? He still calls me although he hasnt called today yet.... I don't know what to do -
HELP
Just curious, he has just decided that he needs a *break* or some *space* from me. I am not handling this well at all!!! Things were great and all of a sudden this? He is having some emotional problems right now, he has been through a lot and i guess he is trying to find himself and learn how to deal with certain issues in his life. Anyway we had a talk the other night because he has been distant and he told me that he needed a *break*. Naturally I started crying my eyes out! And I started telling him how I knew i was losing him, and that i feel like he doesn't love me now etc... He keeps reassuring me that yes he still loves me, and he is not breaking my heart and that I am not losing him at all! But I feel so different! My own insecurities I guess. What do I do?? He still calls me although he hasnt called today yet.... I don't know what to do -
HELP
Anna

Thanks
First, take a deep breath. Good. Now let it out. Repeat as necessary. :)
This is not necessarily the end. This is some decompression time. A relationship "time out." He didn't call off the game. He just called time out. We all reach a point at some time in our lives where we fell the need to call a time out just to be 100% that we're in the right place. Trust me, it's better to take a break and be sure one way or the other than to continue with him not knowing for sure if the relationship is right. In the meantime, take a moment to consider the relationship for yourself.
While you're on your break, treat it as extra time to spend on you. Go shopping, catch up with friends you may have lost touch with, go get a makeover at the mall. Take this time to do something special for yourself. Take care of you right now and try not to worry about him. After all, he's doing enough worrying about him for both of you.
Take care,
Ivy
georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com
That does not seem to be the case, your history is fine.
People take breaks for many reasons. For example, when I was diagnosed with a disease, I thought I really was not ready to be in a relationship any more. I needed time to sort things out on my own, before being bombarded from other people, especially my then boyfriend.
He reacted a lot like you did, and I resented it. He thought he was being punished, because I needed a break, and I thought he was being insensitive to me, and his reaction made me angry.
Trust me, give the guy some space. It will call attention to your inner strength, which will only make you look even more desirable, and not so dependent.
This is actually a blessing in disguise. If it was truly meant to be, when you are together again, it will make you that much stronger as a couple.
Been through this twice.. First if he needs a break after 4 motnhs you must really wonder about this .. Is he always going to need a break.. Men act like this when they dotn know what they want in a relationship . Wouldnt you rather have someone knwo what they want in a realtionship ... He could come back he could not.. But I have ran into when they always ended up calling and we took it slow again but then the same stuff happens.. If he does come back think about ti talk to him and let him show you he wont do this again... If he does I would toss him out completely.. It hurts at first but time does heal.. I woudl at this point not call him he needed the break.. I ahv etwo guy roommates one of them needed a break from his girlfriend and she calls him still like twice a week and he is pushing more away.. Jsut let him contact you and when he does be friendly and like hi hows it going.. Say you rdating around meeting people and having fun..