He's going to work in another country

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
He's going to work in another country
1
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 3:48am
HI there ,I've been dating this guy for an year and now he told me he was thinking to leave the country and to work in foreign country for indefinite time.. .... I think I'm seeing in his eyes that he doesn't want to leave me,but he never asked me if I wanted to go with him, even if I was clear enough that I'm not going to say 'no' if he ask. I love the guy ,I would do anything for him ,but I'm not shure if he loves me back ,he never expreess his feelings in words,It's so hard to make him open up...and I don't know if he will appreciate if I decide to go with him anyways. I don't want to loose him ,but I don't want to make him stay either . Please, give me some advise ..I don't know what to do .

10x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 11:18am
Hi! The situation sucks! I should know, facing a similar dillema. The advice I have for you might not be easy to follow but I believe that if you force his hand you may get a nasty surprise, not because he doesn´t love you but because it is ultimately his decision to invite you along or not. So whatever you do do not pack your bags to follow him unless he invites you on his own free will. He is going through some major changes now and the last thing he needs is a feeling that he loses control of the relationship too. The secret is to make your feelings known without applying any pressure to him. Support him and help him with this transition and hopefuly he will see the light on his own and either invite you along from the begining or later on, once he has realized how much he misses you. If he does leave you behind use the time to keep the sparks flying with phonecalls, and be original by sending him letters via snail mail along with pictures that would refresh his memory as to what he is missing out on! Bottom line, be subtle and hang in there! One year is a long time to stay in a relationship if love is not present and it is way more important to show your love rather than just proclaim it (although we do need to hear it but still)

hope that helps