What should i do? Help Me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
What should i do? Help Me!
2
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 9:04pm
i broke up with my ex three months ago now and right after that i found a friend at work, he was about to break up with his girlfriend as well. We began hanging out and having a great time together. All a while we were fooling around, and now one knew about us. We were just "friends"! Well we discussed our relationship later on and came to the conclusion that we were friends with bennifits. So on my ex's birthday i ended up having sex with him. I wrote it in my journal and when my "friend" came over to sleep a couple of weeks later he read it in my journal and left in the middle of the night! i finally got him to text message me days later. He told me that if i loved him i would not have slept with my ex. True but if we were just friends what does it matter. He never informed me that he was in love with me also, he just always said that he was a friend and nothing more! I miss him and want him back so bad, he will not yalk to me, and need some advice on what to do at this stage!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 10:08am
It sounds pretty cut and dry to me. You made rules for your relationship and he broke them by trying to hold you accountable to a promise you didn't make (exclusivity and monogamy). If he's upset with you, it's his problem. You didn't do anything wrong by him. If he won't talk to you, I'm betting he'll still read a letter from you. Perhaps you should consider spelling it all out for him, though. If you choose to do this, know before you give it to him that the only answer you may get is none at all. But you can be pretty sure he read what you had to say. How have to tried to contact him?

Maybe you should reconsider wanting someone who reads your diary and bails on you in the middle of the night because of feelings he "didn't have" for you. It sounds to me like he needs to grow up.

Ivy

georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 10:39am
It's natural to miss someone you've grown fond of, have been sleeping with and hanging out with. But...to what end do you want him back? Do you want him back to establish an exclusive, monogamous relationship with him (since obviously that's what he wants from you)? If not, let him go. If so, be prepared to struggle in a relationship with a guy who's not upfront about his feelings but merely says what he thinks you want to hear, a guy who's sneaky and insecure enough to snoop through your things and read your journal, a guy who handles problems by storming out and giving you the silent treatment. Sounds like a pretty immature, emotionally unhealthy guy to me.