choking a turn-on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
choking a turn-on?
2
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 3:29pm
I've heard of sexual asphixiation before, but this is the first time I've encountered it before.

The guy I recently started dating has occsionally put his hand around my throat during sex. He has never exerted enough pressure as to cause me discomfort (actually, as I like my mattress action kinda rough, I actually liked it). But a few days ago, while we were in bed watching tv, out of the blue, he asked me if he could choke me. Being completely taken by surprise, I reacted as if it were a joke, and said of course he couldn't do that. He hasn't mentioned it since, but I haven't been able to forget the question. He has never displayed violent tendencies, unless you count our rough ways in bed, but the fact that choking apparently turns him on worries me. Am I right to worry? And should I try to talk to him and find out why he is turned on by choking?

- concerned

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 4:33pm
I think you are right to be concerned about this. Choking is a violent, dangerous act and has nothing to do with sex, normally. There is something wrong when someone would think about it, even, but for him to go so far as to act on and ask about it, is cause for real concern, in my books. I'm wary, so I would get away from him immediately, but of course, you have to make your own decisions. Good luck with whatever you decide!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 5:05pm

Well I would have to strongly disagree with golightly.