should I or shouldn't I ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
should I or shouldn't I ?
1
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 11:36am
Hi - my question is a short one but probably not an easy one. I've been with this man for a year now - I know my feelings for him - I know that I love him. I think he loves me too - however neither of us has said it to each other, we are both in our early 40's, both divorced, he was with his ex wife for 20 years and she left him for another man, so he's a little cautious about saying his feelings. I don't know if it's because neither of us wants to say it first or what - but I want to tell him that I do Love him, I'm tired of not saying my feelings just in case he doesn't say anything back. My question is what if I say this to him and he doesn't say it back? How do you handle that? Once it's out - I can't take it back and I don't want those three words just hanging out there. So what is a graceful way of handling it should he not say it back? I think he will say it but maybe not - as I said he's not the type to express his feelings - but I want to be prepared for anything. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 11:42am
Your love for him, if based in respect, admiration, acceptance, and understanding of who he is as a person...not what his involvement in your life makes you feel about yoursel fand your life and your potential...is not contingent upon his "saying it back".

So tell him that you love him and would adore a life with him - if that is what he desires for himself. And if he says "that isn't waht I want" - you can love him and move on - if you want a relationship.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com