Things getting boring

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Things getting boring
2
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 9:01am
Ive been with him for more than a yr. As time goes by, i start to find things getting boring and routined.

I start to find him boring. Sigh. Ok, in the past, i didnt notice he is a boring person. I only start to realise it like 5 to 6 months into the relationship. Honeymoon period is over. I tried to brighted things up. I celebrate our monthly anniversary. tried to find new things to do. Sometimes im just tired of planning things to do. He did try to figure ways out. Sometimes theres just too limited things to do. He arent romantic. He is usually quiet unless u start talking to him.

Im human. Sometimes i need someone to comfort me, but he doesnt know how to. I do have my own ups and downs in life. Sometimes i just wished someone could just entertain me. But my guy doesnt know how to. Thats when i start to realise that he is boring.

Gosh...someone pls help me. Am i too demanding ? sigh. I just passed my bday. For hte whole of my bday, i was hoping n hoping htat he would surpised me with a small little cake. When it comes to birthday, the thing that will make this day special would be some nice present or a cake. But he didnt. I was utterly disappointed. He didnt even get me a present. He gave me the money and told me to get watever i wanted. Thats when i blew to my top. I scolded him. He told me that he didnt know how to celebrate a birthday. I find his reason as an excuse.

Am i too demanding? sigh. He loved me a lot. But he is just toooooo square. -.-"""""

is there any ways that my relationshpi with him can be saved?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:37am
Sorry to say you two sound incompatible to me. Neither of you is right or wrong -- you and he just want and need different things from each other and from a relationship. You may love one another, but unfortunately he is who he is and you are who you are. Neither of you is going to change to be like the other, and if you can' t be completely happy and satisfied with him as is, then he isn't the right guy for you.

P.S. Personally I think celebrating monthly anniversaries is over the top.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 1:19pm
Have you sat down with him and discussed what you need in a relationship? A fun date night once a week, with each of you taking turns to plan it? Surprises? Emotional support?

Reading material to consider:

Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw

Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix

His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr

These all help define what we need in a relationship and all offer ideas on how to fulfill them. Like making a list of kind things to do for each other (there is a lot to be said for being polite to each other) showing affection in small ways, showing that you care, etc.

Now, if you have talked about it and nothing changes, then you have to recoginze he is who he is and you may have basic incompatiblity issues and time to go your separate ways.


Carrie