Unsure if this is normal

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Unsure if this is normal
3
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 8:58pm
Is it normal for a couple to get so comfortable with eachother than even after 3 years together they start changing... we have gotten so close and it seems like we are being meaner to eachother... i dont understand if this is normal or not... we have been arguing a lot lately... thanks for your time
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 11:43pm
it sounds like you took those words right out of my mouth! i am currently in the same situation...and know of 2 other couples dealing with the same issues. no one really wants to talk about it though. just stick in there! i know its hard, but if you love that person its worth sticking in it...so yes...i think you are in a normal situation...good luck to you
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 8:14am
Again, the wheels of life spun around us yesterday. I tried to dress nice for him so maybe I'd get some positive feedback from him. I ended up wearing shorts and a tee- shirt when it was a lil chilly outside. He thought i was being an idiot for dressing like that and all I was trying to do was get attention from everyone else. He didn't like it, he says that he was insulted by it. He always tells me that I don't need to try to look nice for him because he gets jealous if "people we know" see me looking attractive. I admitted that I was wrong for wearing it but I told him that he was wrong for the reasons I was dressed like that. Now, I feel slutty and he told me that he likes me a lot less after that. He is so miserable and unhappy with me. But sometimes we just FEEL SO RIGHT! Then we get here and don't know where to turn.
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 8:20am
If he gets jealous because people you know see you looking attractive, you've got major problems in this relationship. Now he's got you "feeling slutty" because you wanted to feel sexy for a day. This is NOT a healthy relationship. He sounds controlling and manipulative. It sounds like you may need a little work on yourself to be build your self esteem and stand up to this guy. There is NO reason you should feel bad about yourself for trying to look pretty. You are not an idiot and you are not a slut. Please consider getting some help from a counselor, friend or family member about this. You have done NOTHING wrong and he has NO RIGHT to call you an idiot, or imply that you're a slut or whatever he did/said to make you feel this way.

Good luck to you. You deserve better treatment than this.