Help, Don't Know what To do Anymore

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Help, Don't Know what To do Anymore
1
Sat, 07-03-2004 - 11:59pm
My boyfriend and I are kind of taking a break. We seem to be fighting a lot lately so we thought we (rather he) thought we should cool it off a bit. In the passed week he stayed over once (he came over and surprised me) and then I saw him the following day. He was real sweet to me and everything went great. Then on Thursday he seemed kidna distant and didn't really want to talk and as well on Friday. Today (saturday) we took a day trip together. It went alright, he wasn't really affectionate to me tho. I would touch him or kiss his cheek and he didn't do a whole lot. Before we got home I asked if we could have a sleep over. In a round about way he said yes. Then we get to my house and he says that he's going to just sleep at his house because he's not "feeling" it tonight. Not that we were going to have sex or anything. So me, I say alright, feeling hurt of course, start getting out of the car. And then part of my brain is saying get out of the car and just leave it, but another part says say something to him. I know if I say something it will start another fight. Sure enough, like I always do, I can't leave well enough alone, I say something and it blows up in to a fight. I could have just dismissed it and everything would have been alright tomorrow.

I can never leave well enough alone. Is there a part of the brain that you can shut off for that. If I just didn't keep going after him then maybe everything would be okay. Does anyone else have this problem? How can it be helped?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 4:17am

sorry you are going thru this.... i don't know if there is a "switch" in your brain! but, as difficult as this may be, i think that what you NEED to do in this case is to STOP seeing him completely. don't go out, don't talk on the phone, don't have sleepovers. you NEED this break.


take some time to "mourn" (not too much time, now!), and then pick yourself up, buy yourself a new outfit, get a new haircut or makeover - and get back in the swing of things. yes, for a while you may feel like you are going to die (you won't) and every guy you meet will pale in comparison, but ----- the day will come when you feel