Ladies - how important is SEX in LTR

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Ladies - how important is SEX in LTR
7
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 1:32am
LTR meaning long term relationship

How important is it? What % of sex makes up the relationship? Would u date a guy who sucks in bed?

discuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 12:11pm
I think sex is important in a ltr. Hopefully, I wouldn't know if a guy I was dating was lousy or not. However, someone being lousy in bed is mostly a matter of not being considerate of their partner's feelings. If it were technique or something, they could be taught. I was married before and he didn't want me to "stay because I was getting anything out of the relationship." For us, sex always meant fighting afterwards. So I would say sex is very important, but I suppose it also depends on the needs of each partner. Are you writing a book? Just curious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 1:26pm
Have you communicated with him about or showed him what you like?


Edited 7/5/2004 10:26 pm ET ET by ciao_gina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 10:10pm
I think sex is important in a long-term relationship. Some people may not agree, but sex definitely brings two people closer together and is also a way of connecting with your partner. It's an experience to be shared by someone you love. And if sex still isn't good with your partner after trying different things, then maybe something is missing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 11:22am
I assume your question was for me. My ex was a living contradiction. He said he learned about what to do from me, but he must have practiced it on others. It wasn't so much that he didn't know what to do, it was that he didn't want to do what I liked. He got off on power trips.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 12:00pm

This depends very much upon the woman involved. For some women sex is a nuisance and bother and they'd be happy to have little of it. For others, it's the main course, a way of feeling loved, wanted, and desirable. A way of communicating and bonding. You have to understand who you are and accept it. If love is a deeply important part of your life and the way you receive and express love and affirmation, then it should be a big part of your relationship. For such a woman being with a man who was not satisfying would cause a deep feeling of deprivation. If you are such a person and your guy "sucks in bed", let him know how much this means to you - have him seek sex therapy...they are many ways to work out the blocks and difficulties a person has and open up the sexual part of himself. Don't pretend it isn't happening. Work on it together,lovingly.


Best wishes.

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 2:25pm
I think that sex is very important in a long term relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 12:33pm
I think it is very important however I don't believe that any guy sucks in bed it's just a matter of time before a couple gets comfortable & learn how to please each other... been thre, done that... ask me more if you want