Should I call it quits?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Should I call it quits?
3
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 12:25pm
I have been married 5 years. We have been together a total of 8 years.

He hasn't worked for the last 21 months - all with interesting reasons. In the last 12 months he has found reason to be in another state on and off for 5 months.

He says he "loves me" and wants to make this work. We have been in therapy and not much has changed. During therapy he would say "we should call it quits" - but, say he felt that out of fear of me leaving him.

We moved 2 months ago to his hometown hoping being with family would help us. Since we have been here - he has been gone for a month.

He says he is serious this time to make it try and understands more about why his first marriage failed (same run away behavior) and is willing to stay this time and work on it.

Unfortunately, I don't think I have the energy, desire, or patience to keep listening to what he has to say. I have heard it before - and nothing changes. He isn't looking for a steady job; he doesn't feel he should have to discuss his decisions with me -- ect.

Since he has been gone - I have been the happiest I have been in years. I am enjoying each day and looking forward to doing things.

Do I work on telling him why I am so happy right now and try and make it work - or - agree with him that we should call it quits?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 1:57pm
first off i would just like to say im sorry things arent working out. secondly i think if your happy without him then maybe its for the best and reading your story really helped me sort things out cause im going through almost the same thing. remember you are the only one to live your life, so live it however you feel!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 6:52pm
Dear TRW:

Forcing yourself to get back together with a man who doesn't work, isn't a good husband and makes you miserable would be just plain wrong. Do the right thing.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 9:17pm
'I have been the happiest I have been in years. '

Then it sounds like it is time to do something to ensure that you remain happy.

Whay is he gone for months at a time? What is he doing? Who is he with?