was breaking up the right thing to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2004
was breaking up the right thing to do?
3
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 3:46pm
This weekend my boyfriend of a little over 2 years and I broke up. It was a mutual decision… I think we broke up because the distance was hard on us and we both agreed we needed to grow up a bit (I’m 22 and he is 24).

Anyway, even though I know this will allow us the time and space we need to grow, I am not sure I did the right thing. We both love one another and we never really fight. He told me he is not sure he is ready to be responsible for another person’s emotions, but he also told me that I am “perfect” for him. He has called me several times since our split and asked over and over “do you think this is the right thing?”

I am just trying to give him the space he may need and I think this will help us work on our friendship too. He said he feels the same way. However, he has expressed that it is very hard for him to let me go and that he thinks about me constantly. I know we are young and have our differences and that this space could help, but I’m worried about losing him too. I keep saying if it was meant to be we will come back together.

I just want to know if I am going about this the right way? Any pointers/advice? Is it possible that he doesn’t want this break up either seeing he keeps calling and questioning our decision?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 6:41pm
Dear A:

You have given us plenty of information about how your bf feels but not enough about your feelings. Putting his feelings aside for a moment, be honest. From the bottom of your heart, what do you want to do?

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 3:44pm
Dear C:

THANK YOU! You know, I really needed someone to pose that question to me the way you did. It just hit me suddenly when I though about it that I don't want to break up. I want to be with him. Losing him really scares me because I have never met someone like him... I know the good things about him and the bad and that makes him all the more "real" to me. I just think I need a little time to sort through all this. I really want to work on our friendship.

He keeps calling me and we've been talking. So far, we have been getting along really well. I just miss him terribly :(

Thank you again C!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 1:53am
A-

You are more than welcome. Be happy.

C