any advice would be helpful

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
any advice would be helpful
2
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:01am
Hi everyone. I am 22 and have been dating the same guy for 6 years...for a little while we were on and off but we've been together officially again for almost 2 years.Here's my problem: I have been wanting to get engaged for about a year now.My boyfriend says he wants to get engaged also,but he's been telling me it's going to be "soon" since last summer. In May he told me it would be before i went back to college in August,and last night he told me that for a few weeks now he has decided not to ask me before I go back to school.I am very hurt because I have been looking forward to this so much,and again he has let me down. We've looked at rings together,and we talk about marraige and he talks about the things he wants us to do together when we get married(travel,get a dog,live in a nice apartment,etc). I dont know why he wont just ask me!! We're each others' best friend and we love each other so much...and I just dont understand it. Should I give up on him?? Does he just not want to get engaged to me??Any help would he wonderful.Thank you

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:34am
My dear, the more he feels that you want to speed things up, the more he is going to delay it and it is just human nature to think twice and not make a decision quickly. If you love him, you must give him some time without talking about it or pressuring him. Now that you have talked about it, even looked at rings, I believe that he is ready. However most guys want the special day of proposal be a surprise, they like to see the woman get excited & surprised over it. Trust me, it will happen when you expect it the least. Stick around & it will happen. Remember, try not to mention it in a while, that will make him wonder whether you gave up on him... then he will speed things up from the fear of loosing you! (Girl Politics work on 90% of the guys). Good Luck Girl!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 12:28pm
Could he be putting you off so you won't expect it and he can surprise you?

My former cubemate, put his girlfriend off after she found the ring she wanted. He ordered it without telling her and proposed when it arrived. She was very surprised and happy.

You have to ask yourself, with or without a ring are you where you want to be?


Carrie