Im Having 2nd Thoughts- Why?
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Im Having 2nd Thoughts- Why?
| Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:44am |
I am so confused, Can someone please help me figure this out. Here is my story, sorry if it's long. I started dating this guy about a year and a half ago. We both lived at our parents still (Im 20, He's 24)It was kind of love at first sight. We clicked right away and fell for each other really fast. He wasn't working when I first met him, which I didn't really like but I figured it wasn't that big of a deal because he would find something soon. He found an ok job and then we moved in together about 7 months after dating. Things were going great for a while, but now the past few months things have gone way down hill. A couple months after moving in I found out that he was talking to some girls online and had one of the girls number in his phone. I also found naked pictures of a ex co-worker in his email. I confronted him about it and he finally admitted to some of the things. He swears he never met the girls or cheated on me and I believe him, but the fact that he still was thinking about other girls and wanting to be with them hurts. Ever since then I feel I cannot trust him and I question everything he does. I can't stop doing this and I don't know why. I love him and I know that he loves me and wants to be with me. He wants to get married and have a family. I want this too, but the last couple months I can't get it out of my head that maybe this isn't for me. I seem to be trying to find something wrong and start a fight or a reason to leave. I just feel trapped. I want a better life for us and he keeps telling me things will get better but I don't believe him. He doesn't make anything where he's working, plus child support takes half of it(he has a 3yr old daughter)So I basically pay most of the bills and take on most of the responsibility. Theres an ex that I haven't seen in a long time that sorta came into the picture a couple weeks ago. I don't want to be with him but for some reason I feel myself drawn to him. I think a lot of it is attention. I don't feel loved at home. I know he loves me, but he doesn't show it. We've tried talking and he always promises me that things will change and he'll try harder, but then he never does. I don't want to leave, but I don't know if I want to be in this relationship anymore. Why is that? Could this all be just my fear of committment. This is my first really serious relationship and I can't help but think that I should experience more. But then I also found someone and a relationship that people always want. I just don't know what to do or How to stop thinking this way. Is this normal to feel like this? Please tell me your suggestions or advice?

Well I only read your message up to "I found out that he was talking to some girls online and had one of the girls number in his phone"
First, moving in with a man after only 7 months in NUTS...move out now and tell him your not happy and need time. If he truly loves you he will understand. Your so young and have a big life in front of you, you will have ups and downs that will make you a better person. This is one of them!
True love is clear, no distractions or questions, no deviation from true happiness with complete focus on each other, no tinted glass!
Add this to your learning experiences and move on.
2cents from a complete stranger, you will be much better off and much stronger
Brent