I screwed up---BIG TIME!
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I screwed up---BIG TIME!
| Thu, 07-08-2004 - 4:26pm |
I have been married for almost 13 years. A month ago I made a terrible mistake. My husband and I have been through some hardships in the last two years. He had an accident at work and had to have back surgery and will not be able to work for the rest of his life---he is only 32, this happened when we were 30. We have two wonderful children, both boys 12 & 8. My husbands illness has been very hard on us and he has been depressed for some time. He was put on medication for the depression but won't take it because of the side effects. He's not one to be medicated. Even pain meds. He has been pulling away for over 8 months now. He was very verbally abusive. I could do nothing right. He even threw himself one night because there was no cheese. We didn't talk to each other any more. He was not like this before his injury. He was a hppay wonderful man. I started talking to an old high school friend a few months ago. You can probally see where this is going.... I ended up seeing this friend while on a trip out of state and we slept together. It was one night and after it happened we both knew it was wrong. I did not tell my husband about it. Just in the last week we had a break through in our relationship and were going to try and work on things. He on his attitude, on talking to each other. Then he was doing some snooping and found an email to the OM and confronted me yesterday. He was devasated. I have destroyed 13 years because I couldn't deal with his being ill and the changes it brought. I love my husband so very much. I always have. We cryed and threw things and yelled and talked for hours and he said he wanted to make this work no matter what. But he keeps having second thoughts....I know I screwed up and I know I broke a sacred trust. What do I do to prove it to him? I haven't spoke to the OM since and will not. It was a one time mistake made during a very low point in our relationship. How do I rebuild the trust that I shattered? This is the first time I've posted to a message board--but I need advice!

Carrie
hi there and hugs! i agree with the other posters - you NEED therapy to get thru this. of course your husband doesn't trust you - you broke that trust and its hard to just "move on". alot of hurt and anger and frustration is going on in your marriage - and you do need help. this is not just about you making "one mistake" - your husband has to to grow up as well and take responsibility for his life and for his marriage.
good luck...