boyfriend situation.....
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boyfriend situation.....
| Thu, 07-08-2004 - 5:57pm |
I need some help!!
A couple of days ago me and my man of a 1 1/2 years were having a serious talk about our future. We were talking about marriage and the cars we would buy afterwards, where we would want to work, and we are planning on moving in together in late August too. Well then just yesterday he found out that a friend that he used to know has liked him this entire time but it hasn't worked between them because they have always had someone else at the same time. So their timings were never right for each other. The problem is.....I really love him and I get so jealous when he talks to this girl along with his ex's, because he said that he's going to see them whether or not I agree with it, because I shouldn't be the one to decide who he can and can't be friends with. I got really angry about it and everytime they call on the phone I roll my eyes about it and go on a little spat about (why are they still calling you...they still want you..and you like the fact that they are calling you). Anyways, last night he decided, that unless I can control my spats about when they call and when they talk we can't be together.......
I love this guy more than anything in the world! I've talked to him about how I feel about it and it's like he doesn't even take my feelings into consideeration. It just feels like he is putting "them and what they think" before "US".... For example, I was looking on his computer on the internet and saw an instant message from his ex asking when he was going to come down to see her--his reply was, well yeah i'm going to come and see you I just don't know when yet. I asked him about it and he said that the only reason he said that was to apease her....why would he have to apease her..what would be the actual reasoning for that.....Does he still like her, even though he doesn't want to tell me? Should I be mad about him not wanting to let go of his ex and a girl that he used to know? Or should I try (as I have in the past, but it just seems to not get better) to just not be jealous? It just feels as if there is something has been wrong with us ever since he found out that his old friend has liked him the entire time...he hasn't been saying I love you, any more, he doesn't hold my hand or tickle me anymore...all the romantic stuff we just aren't doing anymore...How do we become more romantic if it's suppose to be?
A couple of days ago me and my man of a 1 1/2 years were having a serious talk about our future. We were talking about marriage and the cars we would buy afterwards, where we would want to work, and we are planning on moving in together in late August too. Well then just yesterday he found out that a friend that he used to know has liked him this entire time but it hasn't worked between them because they have always had someone else at the same time. So their timings were never right for each other. The problem is.....I really love him and I get so jealous when he talks to this girl along with his ex's, because he said that he's going to see them whether or not I agree with it, because I shouldn't be the one to decide who he can and can't be friends with. I got really angry about it and everytime they call on the phone I roll my eyes about it and go on a little spat about (why are they still calling you...they still want you..and you like the fact that they are calling you). Anyways, last night he decided, that unless I can control my spats about when they call and when they talk we can't be together.......
I love this guy more than anything in the world! I've talked to him about how I feel about it and it's like he doesn't even take my feelings into consideeration. It just feels like he is putting "them and what they think" before "US".... For example, I was looking on his computer on the internet and saw an instant message from his ex asking when he was going to come down to see her--his reply was, well yeah i'm going to come and see you I just don't know when yet. I asked him about it and he said that the only reason he said that was to apease her....why would he have to apease her..what would be the actual reasoning for that.....Does he still like her, even though he doesn't want to tell me? Should I be mad about him not wanting to let go of his ex and a girl that he used to know? Or should I try (as I have in the past, but it just seems to not get better) to just not be jealous? It just feels as if there is something has been wrong with us ever since he found out that his old friend has liked him the entire time...he hasn't been saying I love you, any more, he doesn't hold my hand or tickle me anymore...all the romantic stuff we just aren't doing anymore...How do we become more romantic if it's suppose to be?

My ex g/f did the same thing to me but she would talk to her old friend that she swore up and down that she only thought of him as a friend right in front of me for a few min. then go into a different room, as soon as I would go into that room she would get mad and tell me I don't trust her. I also found out that they would call each other sevral time a day on her cell phone. needless to say she did leave me for him. I can't say that your b/f is doing the same thing but I would just brace my self and hope for the best. I know it's going to be hard until you find out either way, and I also know how painfull it is to loose some one you love so much. But hey if he's willing to throw it all away you deserve better, and I know that you'll O.K. it's just going to take some time. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you every things going to be o.k. and that your just reading to far into things but from what happened to me I would be wondering a little too.
Good luck and keep us posted
Opsicle
Because he LIKES her attention, and if he didn't, then she wouldn't ever call again. He likes all the attention he can get. And while he's complaining about your being upset by their continued attention, I'd be willing to bet that he likes your reaction as well because he can use it as an excuse to justify his actions, choices, behavior, etc.
Get Dr Laura's book, 10 things couples do to mess up their relationship and let her point out what's wrong with your situation.
Edited 7/8/2004 7:31 pm ET ET by itwinflame
Carrie
Carrie