Best friends with his ex-wife

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Best friends with his ex-wife
4
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:02am
Today I walked in on my husband and his exwife playing around and laughing when she came over today to drop off their son. As soon as he realized I was there boy did he whole demeanor change. No more laughing and playing around that is for sure. I was so mad I was shaking. I stayed in my room all night. I can't stand it. Am I not to believe that he wants to get back together with her after seeing the way they are together? (this isn't the first time) He says no but is he saying no because he feels as though if he was to try he might get rejected by her? What do I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:15am
I hear what your saying, i just posted something similar with my BF and his ex, only I've never seen them joking around and laughing, he just runs to her house to fix things all the time. Was the child involved in the playing? maybe they were laughing at something he or she did. Were they touching each other? I know how you feel though, I hate being jealous and I'm usually not the jealous type. But it can eat away at you if you let it.

Unless this happens often, I would just give him the benefit of the doubt and consider yourself fortunate that they're laughing and not spewing nasty names and yelling like some ex's do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:30am
I would rather them be yelling at each so not to be threatened by their relationship and yes the kid was there along with them. She had a can of stinky spray that she was going to spray him with and he ended up grabbing it and get her with it instead. In the beginning of our marriage I wasn't jealous at all - now after 3 1/2 years I feel crazed with it. I would think the longer you are together the more it would confirm the relationship???
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 6:11pm
I can understand your feelings. I wonder why jealousy would become a problem if it wasn't before. Also, if you haven't been getting after him about her, why does he feel the need to squelch his laughter when you're around? You may be tapping into something subconsciously. I guess I wouldn't discount your feelings, if I were you, but you could drive yourself crazy trying to figure out if he's being truthful or not, not to mention him. Perhaps some short-term counseling would be in order, either singly or as a couple. It's possible that there are other problems creeping into the relationship that are only getting noticed in reference to his ex. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 3:34pm
I think you have to sit down with him and have a conversation about appropriate boundaries and explain that when his entire demeanor changes that you see it as he's hiding something from you. If it makes you uncomfortable, he should be concerned with your feelings and think about the message he's sending to you and to her.


Carrie