Butt in or Butt out?
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| Sat, 07-10-2004 - 9:50pm |
Anyway, SIL has been dating new guy "Joe" since late April. After 1 mo she found out he was married - and not just an "Oh, I didn't mention it before..." situation but he gave her a really detailed and intricate story to which she discovered the truth on her own. Needless to say, they had a huge fight and she put him on "super double probation." Now, a few weeks later DH (her brother) and I are told she is still dating him and "working things out" but they sound like they are practically planning a wedding next summer!
Well, DH and I are very leery of Joe. Even though he says he is now getting a divorce and moving his things out, DH and I are very concerned for SIL. Joe’s story at the beginning basically manipulated SIL into a relationship (she felt they were at similar places in their lives after similar experiences – big lie on his part) and now we fear for him hurting and disappointing her badly again. We just don’t know what kind of future they can build if this is what they have in their very short past. Every thing he says and does is suspect to us and although MIL & FIL may be open to letting him in their lives because is the first boyfriend in a long time that is – on paper – “desirable,” DH and I want SIL to show him to the curb so she’s not busy with this liar if and when Mr. Right comes along.
It is her life after all, but should DH and I keep our mouths shut or say something because we want to protect SIL?

Sure you can talk to her, but chances are she won't hear you, isn't open to anything bad said about Joe. If you decided to talk to her, choose your words carefully.
Carrie
C
'but when someone has a possibility of becoming my kids' uncle - or at least a chance of spending lots of time around them -'
If he or their relationship ever affects your children or you directly then you can make a decision about how much you want you and your children to be involved.