The ex factor

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
The ex factor
2
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 10:43am
My ex and I have/were dating for about 2 years. We're young (early 20's). After about 7 months we moved in...yeah that didn't work. We moved out a couple months later. We've been dating ever since. We fight a lot. There's a lot of repressed anger, we used to be love, now who knows. We've broken up several times...this last time has stuck. But last night he told me that he wanted to still see me, but not exclusively. He doesn't want to stand in the way of me seeing anyone else and vice versa. He says basically he's young and he doesn't want to be in relationship. My question is am I just being kept on hold or is this his way of getting the space he needs to not resent our relationship happening so early on in our lives. I don't want to be stupid, but I can't see him taking the time to talk all this out if he didn't care, he's the type to just move on. I want to give him the space he needs, but the idea with him with another girl...that's murder. Please help me...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
In reply to: kbd4st
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 11:05am
If you can find your perfect mate in your early 20s, more power to you. But from my experience and of those around me, we've found that there are so many things that happen in your 20s that you are better off waiting to get serious with someone in your early 30s. Your 20s is a time of change and growth, so much so that several psychology areas believe your personality isn't really set until about 30. In your 30s you've had enough relationship, life and business experience that you can actually put to use all the things you've learned in your 20s to have more successful personal and business relationships in your 30s. This guy sounds like he needs the time to grow. You shouldn't put your life on hold for his. Just my 2 cents. Good luck, I know it's easier for me to say move on than it is to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
In reply to: kbd4st
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 11:22am
Thanks so much. It's scary to know what you need to do then actually do it. So often our heads know the answer, sadly hearts are immature and hopeful. Thank you again.