Will a young marriage last?
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Will a young marriage last?
| Sun, 07-11-2004 - 11:50pm |
I'm 17 years old and I'm engaged to a 29 year old man. I'm madly in love and in my heart I believe that We can make a marriage last. Every one around me is telling me that it will never work and we will break up or divorce. What do you think?

well, if you go by today's statistics - then about half of all marriages end in divorce. I am sure that most of those people also said "we will beat the odds". I think that the statistics for "under 18" marriages are even worse. and the age difference in your case (not just the 11 years - but the fact that you are still a teen - and he is in his late 20s)
OTOH - I can tell you that I do know people who got married at age 18, and lasted for 50 years.
so the question is not if the marriage will last BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE and THE AGE DIFFERENCE. the question is whether EACH OF YOU as individuals - are strong people, are people who know what they want out of life. I think (from my own experience) that if YOU have not yet "defined" yourself as an individual, but rather as "part" of a "relationship" - then no - this marriage will not last. or it will last but be very unhealthy.
who are all these people who are telling you that it won't last? are these your friends/family? people who love you and care about you? people whose advice has been "on the ball' in previous situations? think about that.
My advice would be to pursue your education, get a degree, live on your own and support yourself financially for a few years before even thinking about marriage to ANYONE. I have NEVER heard a grown woman say that she regretted furthering her education and postponing marriage, but I have listened to scores of woman lamenting the fact that they married too young.
At 29, your BF has already had the chance to do this. At 17, you haven't. Don't short change yourself.
I too have seen many relationships between men in their late 20s and girls in their late teens and the guys are rarely a good catch. Usually they are either controlling men who find it easier to control a teenager or they are men who don't have a lot going for them and find it easier to impress a teenager who is used to teenage boys than to impress a woman his own age.