He needs space after three years (long)
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He needs space after three years (long)
| Mon, 07-12-2004 - 1:39am |
I am seriously depressed and an emotional wreck. I need a third persons view on my situation and advise me on what I need to do, please. I am going to tell my whole story from the beginning so get comfortable. I was dating a guy - Joe. Joe and I dated on and off for a year. We were in the military together. We went on a long vacation together and by the end he stopped acting like my b/f. He moved away soon after and stopped calling. I knew in my heart it was over but we didn't officially break up. At this time I met my current b/f - Craig. Craig was the most affectionate lovable guy and I fell for him. Because I still was technically with Joe I kept holding Craig off, afraid Joe's old friends would tell on me. Why didn't I just call Joe up and tell him goodbye and move on with my life? There is my one big mistake. After dating/living with Craig for 2 months I got out of the military and left the area. I went to see Joe to get my stuff back. Before I met Craig I sent all of my stuff to Joe's with the intention of living there. When I left Craig I told him I didn't know when I would be back but I wanted to be with him. Only two weeks later I realized I had to have Craig and ran back to him and moved back in. Craig felt I tried to get back together with Joe and when Joe offically broke up with me I chose Craig as second best. I honestly didn't want to get back together with Joe!! I just was stupid leaving Craig hanging. After I got back Craig was ice cold to me for almost a year. Two years later he warmed up but was never the same cuddly affectionate sweet person - ever. Now three and half years later he dissapears all day and night and told me he's bored with his life and with me. He needs to have fun. We are both 26. I always gave Craig space. I always encourged him to go out, do his own thing, have boys night out. He always just hung out with me. Now I have learned he hung out with me and was bored because he felt obligated to entertain me. I do admit that I don't have any friends and count on him sometimes to hang out with me but I never pressured him to stay locked to me! I always had ideas to go out but because the plans never involved a group of people he always pooh poohed the ideas. I don't mind him going out without me at all! So it boils down to this - I understand we need space. I need to be my own person. I think I need him to miss me and fall in love with me again. How do I do this properly? I think getting my own place would be best but I'm not finacially stable enough. Can I give him space and live in the same house? It's not like he's ever here anyway. Do you think he'll ever be affectionate again? Am I stupid to want to stay? I love him so much and he loves or did love me very much too. I am so confused and heartbroken. Plus he's still in the military and we have a move coming up in 8 months. I don't want him to feel obligated to take me, I want him to choose me for a girlfriend. How do I handle this situation? I asked my mother for advice but hers suck - have a baby without telling him. I'm smarter than that. So any wise people out there?
