He's in love with his ex
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| Mon, 07-12-2004 - 8:43am |
My boyfriend and I have been together almost five months and everything was going great. Early in the relationship he told me that he didn't know if he could fall in love again. He was still in love with his first love (from when he was fifteen - he's now 21) and didn't know how to get over that. But our relationship has been great. We are able to talk about anything and love being together.
Lately he's been acting differently. He's seemed more distant and less affectionate. I'll look at him and he'll look back at me but have to look away after a second or two. When I asked him what was going on this weekend, he told me that he's always had a problem being able to take a relationship to the next level. He said that he cares about me and doesn't want us to break up, but he doesn't know if he'll be able to get closer, or fall in love. He said that in all of his relationships since, it seems that at between 3-6 months it'll get to a point where the girl wants to take the relationship to another step and he just isn't able to.
With his last girlfriend, she said that she loved him but he said he didn't love her. But he felt bad so he stayed with her for over a year and a half. When they finally broke up she was really hurt. He doesn't want to do that again. I'm not in love with him yet but I can see myself falling in love with him in the future. He said that whatever happens happens and that he really wants to be able to take the relationship to the next level with me. But he doesn't know if he will be able to.
He still has strong feelings for his first love (although he hasn't even talked to her in over 5 years) and thats getting in the way. I feel like he's scared about being hurt again, or just feeling like that for someone else. Is there anything that I can do to help? I really want to make this work, and give our relationship somewhat of a chance. I've suggested that he talk to someone about it just to figure out what is going on in his head, but he said he doesn't want to be tricked into feeling something that he doesn't.
This is really hurting me because I feel like we could have a really great relationship if he opened up. I'm feeling completely lost so any advice would deffinitely help! I'm getting desperate because I'm so clueless on what to do/think/anything. Please help!
Edited 7/12/2004 4:27 pm ET ET by munchkin656
