Did I ruin a 2 year relationship
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Did I ruin a 2 year relationship
| Tue, 07-13-2004 - 1:20am |
I've been in a "relationship" with my S.O. for almost 2 yrs. He lives across the street from me and we've known each other for 10 years my parents have known him almost his entire life. My dad and him have become really close over the past 6 months. I'm not sure how to describe our relationship~I've confessed to him that I love him and he said he loves me but he's not ready for a committment b/c of his past relationships. I wrote a 3 page letter last night confessing of my love once again and trying to understand where I stand. We have an odd relationship. I go stay at his house at night, not every night b/c of the kids, occasionally he stays with me, just depends on our schedules. We are known to everyone as boy/girlfriend. His friends all know me we go out w/his friends, his family knows me,(his sister named her daughter after me 14 years ago) I'm 29 he's 44 thats' not an issue, The letter basically said I feel sometimes as if Im on the back burner...b/c we will go for 4 or even 6 or 7 days w/out talking on the phone or seeing each other b/c of our schedules an they are hectic (odd since we live right across the street from each other). But we've remained commited only to each other for 2 years but I feel like sometimes it's a game and he doesnt' appreciate what we do have and I want it more on a "committed" level. I told him in the letter that we've been together this long for a reason, I love him and he loves me so where do we go from here? He's been married/divorced 10 years ago and no kids, I have 2 dd/ds and he's great w/them. I've bought my house he's bought his house...it's issues as far as that, what would we do and him wanting to settle down again for fear of getting hurt.I told him I wasnt' asking for marriage but I want more committment than what we have. I told him I loved him unconditionally but sometimes I feel as if that is not returned by him and I flat out asked him to tell me where I stand b/c I cant' do this anymore. We've spent so many wonderful moments together, holidays, trips, family gatherings, you name it...I cant' do this anymore and I'm afraid I just ruined what relationship we did have...but It hurts too bad. There are SO many other issues but I'd be here for days writing this~ I hope you can get the basic story~I'm sick to my stomach and I dont' know what to do~Help!!
Desiree
Desiree

YOU NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT HE WANTS FROM YOU SO YOU CAN END THE PAIN! Ask him what he wants for his future and are you in it. He is kind of taking you for granted now and does not have to change his life in any way to accomodate you and the kids. Ask him about the kids. If he wants to keep them around. You need to know these things before you will become heartbroken.
Ask him to come out with how he feels. Maybe you should have done this before writing how YOU feel. Hopefully he will be honest with you. Good Luck.
Anyway enough of my rambling~thanks so much!