How to get that "thing" back
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| Wed, 08-08-2007 - 4:04pm |
Hi all. I hope I'm posting this in the right forum but here goes. Over the past month or two I fell into a slight bit of depression because of work related stress and money problems and as a result it's made me feel really needy to my partner and just over all have low self esteem. We've gotten into a couple of conflicts because of my stupid worrysome thinking and I continually feel worse and worse because it's just rediculous of me! and it's NOT me. I know men hate that, but he is being supportive nontheless. But the more I worry about how this might be affecting "us" which it probably is, the worse I get! I was researching some books on men, relationships & all of that. We've only been together for 8 months but in the beginning I was living with my roommate, taking care of myself, and felt so good about myself. After 2 months of dating I moved in with my bf and lost my job. It took me months to find another one, and it was rough for me but I'm so happy that I at least have a good job, even though i'm making less money than I was when him & I met.
I was always a very independant, fun, ballsy girl that kept my own beliefs and wouldn't change who I am for anyone, yet very loving and positive. I know I had no problem attracting men because that's what keeps them interested, and what I read supported that. Thing is, I just can't seem to snap out of this little rut. I feel that I went from a healthy "I love you, you're my best friend, peaceful love" to a somewhat needy, worrysome love/feeling that's feeling a little out of control on my part. Why is that? Is it my recent feeling of low self-esteem? How do I fix it without worrying about "him" and "us"? My mind is constantly worrying "what if I lose him to this, what if he loses interest, blah blah blah". The more I worry the worse I feel AHH STOP THE MADNESS!!! LOL.... I want to get that irresistable "I don't NEED you, I WANT you" attitude back that I had - to keep him interested, to keep him intrigued - if I haven't lost that from him yet.... Do you think it's too late? Or better questioned, if so, can I get that back from him? Using that kinda reach & withdraw thing? Please note that we live together and have the same work schedules. How can I do this in my situation? Any tips from you wise women, (and men) would be greatly appreciated.

Hi beautifullife4759,
Here's some reading material that might help,
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw
Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage, Shechtman
Make a girl's night out, connect with your friends....have a life of your own.
Welcome to the board beautifullife4759,
Has your bf given you any reason to worry that this behavior is driving him away? I think you need to find some ways to regain your self esteem and destress. Remember that you are worthy of
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