is it normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
is it normal?
3
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 10:20am
So I have been with my husband for a little over 5 yrs. We have a wonderful Daughter who is 3 yrs old. My problem is our sex life is almost down to nothing, and its all my fault. I just dont want sex anymore. We thought it was my birth control giving me this problem but I havent taken that in a year. I have spoke to my doctor and he basically told me that my husband is a man and he has needs.
I know a lot of it is I am tired and I just want to get sleep. I have a 3 yr old and I watch a 20 month old from 630 til 5 m-f. I also work saturday mornings at a medical office I have been working at since high school. And on the side I own a pet sitting Business thats still growing I have 2 people working along with me so I have help but its still mostly on me. The house, bills, cooking, groceries, all that is on me. I even have to ask him to mow and sometimes its to the point I gotta start to do it myself before he comes out there to do it. He has been redoing are kitchen almost 2 yrs and it still has no kickboard on. The bathroom wallpaper has been partly tore down since the end of june still not yet done.
I love my husband and he is a good worker he works all the time and if they have overtime he jumps at it and when his customers call he goes. but I just cant get in the mood im tired and recently have had some back issuses that are making me taking some meds and physical therapy. I want to have sex but by the time night comes I just dont have any desire to. Any suggestions on how to get my hormones going again like they was before I had my daughter?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: lacieh2001
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 12:10pm

Welcome to the board lacieh2001,


::I have spoke to my doctor and he basically told me that my husband is a man and he has needs.

Find another doctor ASAP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
In reply to: lacieh2001
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 12:28pm

So basically, you're a full-time baby sitter to a todler, part-time pet sitter, part-time medical office assistant, AND full-time mother, wife and household holder-togetherer... with moderate to severe back problems!! No wonder you don't have the sex drive! You have a lot going on!!

You mentioned some frustration with your husband. How is your relationship in general?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
In reply to: lacieh2001
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 1:09pm
I love my husband but there are things I dont like about him. I know that he takes care of us as far as money goes..my business is something I wanted...something I wanted to do for myself...not just to make money.
My husband pays the bills and works hard and is always trying to improve himself so he can have his dream of financial freedom. I never have to worry if he will just get up and not work anymore or will buy or do something that would hurt us.
but my big problem is when he comes home sometimes I feel like that is his time to relax he does his thing...either works out, reads, gets on the computer..I still continue to clean, get our daughter ready for bed etc..thats my biggest issue and my family does see that..they love him but they feel like he feels he works and thats all he has to do. With the back problem the doctor tells me really not to do much because he wants it to heal..i try and my mom helps me out but my husband doesnt like me to ask because he feels it makes him look bad. I spoke to him earlier today and he asked how I was feeling and what I was doing and I told him I was doing ok but trying to clean and he said he would help when he got home..but sometimes I feel I shouldnt have to point out things to him and ask him to do them...if you see the trash is full take it out...you see the grass is high cut it...dishes in the sink put them in the dishwasher...i dont expect him to really do a lot of cleaning but help is always nice...
I will say this he is a good man and I do feel he is getting better in helping me out but I came from a family that everyone helped regardless if you worked or not..you didnt have to be asked you just did it....he didnt..his mom did it all...and still does..
I just want to get back the desire I had for him before our child was born...the want and need to have sex..not just because I feel I should have to