New and need a little help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2007
New and need a little help!
2
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 12:30am

My husband and I are both 31 y/o and have beed married for 8 years. I would like to know how to tell him the differece between sex and attention. Our sex life is great, I just want more of the attention part of it. The only time we have by ourselves during the day is at night when all the kids are in bed. And he if he is tired and doesn't sex he just goes to sleep. How can I make him understand my needs.

Thanks,
Kris

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 12:57am

Welcome to the board momof4cuties07,


Try getting the book Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman and reading it with him or to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 8:34am

Don't lie down.

As soon as the two of you become horizontal, your tired husband thinks, "Yes! Sex or sleep!" and that's all he wants. Let him know early in the evening that you want some grown up time after the kids are in bed, and then sit together on the sofa to talk, cuddle, neck, or whatever.

All couples need re-connecting time; when I was about nine, my father told me that's why kids have the early bedtimes.