WHAT TO DO

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2005
WHAT TO DO
6
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 3:24pm

hi,

i met this guy 4th of July weekend. We went out & i slept with him on the first date. Now, I know what you're thinking not another "oh my gosh, is he going to call me/when he calls me is he only going to be interested in sex" posts. Well this one is different in the sense that i took it for what it was and if he just wanted to enjoy my company for the moment then so be it b/c i wanted the same.. well he called the next day inquiring on whether i would have dinner w/him and i agreed and we had been seeing each other ever since; during our dates, we talked about being exclusive and we both agreed that we wanted an exclusive relationship but that we were going to take it slow and see how the relationship progressed (my suggestion). so, we did and we were until yesterday...

he wanted to take me to lunch, i told him that i couldn't go b/c i made plans with my girlfriends and that i would call him when i was done. he protested that he wanted to see me and he didn't want to wait so long, i told him that i would call him when i got back. after i finished hanging out with my gf's i called him. he told me to come over, he was cooking dinner and we could have dinner together. so i did and dinner was good. afterwards, we watched a movie and then we had sex. afterwards, he basically said ok goodnight. I was like reewinnnnnnd. Naturally, I got angry and yelled and screamed but the kicker is when i said this "your penis is little and it couldn't get up" - i know- WHY did i say that b/c my feelings were hurt and i wanted him to feel like i felt. so, i left. he didn't call to apologize last night and i didn't either.

when i awoke this morning, i felt bad about our fight and i wanted to call and apologize but my pride wouldn't let me. well, 20 mins ago he called and apologized; he said that he knew i was angry and he was sorry for hurting my feelings, and that i was a really nice person and that he didn't want to leave things like that...

so, what should i do next, should i continue to see him? or should we talk about what happend and see where things go from there?

thanks,
ravishing

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 3:47pm

To be honest, I'm frankly shocked he called you back after what you said to him.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 4:00pm
Ya, I guess I'm missing something too. Are you saying that he was going to leave after sex ("goodnight" meant "goodbye") or he was just turning over to go to sleep? Are you suggesting that he was being deliberately dismissive of you after sex in retaliation for you seeing your girlfriends with whom you already had plans????
Why in the world would you want to continue seeing a man that would do something like that, and why would he want to continue seeing you if you handle anger like that? Walk away from this relationship, you bring out the worst in each other.

Cat 

Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 4:29pm

<>

Yelling and screaming is not "natural", it's abusive and out of control. Saying what you said to him is demeaning, intends to injure and DEFINITELY fits the definition of verbally abusive.

Have you looked into your anger issues and abusive tendancies before? You should.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 5:26pm

You seem to care way too much about your "pride" here. Honestly I don't know why he is still showing any interest in you; you treated him horribly. I don't think you're fit to be seeing ANY man if this is the way you're going to act toward them, let alone just this one.

Of course he didn't call to apologize. He didn't have anything to apologize for.

Your post has me shaking my head. I really hope you decide to work through your anger problems with a professional because someone who reacts this way should not be in a relationship.

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 10:18am

<>

Actually, he DID call and apologize but SHE didn't! I think he has some serious self-esteem issues if he is groveling after she acted in such a way.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 10:31am

What is most important here is for you to work on your own reactions, your anger and excitability. It's important to understand why you became so angry and cruel at that moment, and to learn to control that kind of behavior. It sounds, from your description, that he has been wonderful to you. Stop and take a good look at what it is you want in a relationship, what you want to receive and give, and what it is that upsets you so. The more we understand ourselves, the happier our relationships can be.


Best wishes,