Hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Hope
4
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 6:38pm
Is there ever hope for a couple who has gone through cheating, lies, betrayal, I recently found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex and he admits to it. I found him with another girl too but he denies doing anything with her. It's hard because we have a home together and other bills so we contact each other monthly. He recently professed to me that he made a huge mistake and wants me back. He started going to church he is in the process of visiting a counselor. He says that this time its different from all the other times he has tried to come back. He said for me just to see the diff in him. What should I do I dont trusth him and dont think I will ever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
In reply to: shelllove
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 10:40pm

nope, this is what you really believe:I dont trusth him and dont think I will ever.

don't put trust where it doesn't belong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: shelllove
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 1:58am

Welcome to the board shelllove,


Rebuilding trust and healing the betrayal will take a lot of work.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: shelllove
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 10:29am

If you will never trust him, then it is not a good idea to resume a relationship with him. However, if he is going to counseling and also to church, you might want to see how serious he is about working on himself and what changes it brings out. Rather than jump right back in, you might wish to tell him that you'll wait and see what happens in his counseling, how long he goes, how seriously he takes it, and what kinds of changes take place.


Until a person really regrets their behavior, faces it and changes, old patterns re-appear. When a person really has had enough, and makes a real effort to change (particularly with the help of a professional), then change can happen and things can be made right.


All good wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
In reply to: shelllove
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 12:00pm
Thank you so much, your advise will def come in handy. As for me I know I need to make some changes I just dont know where to start if I decide to take him back how do I get over the past? I may forgive but never forget and I know that in the end that will put a burden on our relationship.