moving in/ex pic STILL on his comp !?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
moving in/ex pic STILL on his comp !?!
4
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 4:54pm

My boyfriend and i have been together for almost a year. At the time I dont have a place to stay, so he practically begged for me to stay with him. We are planning on moving in together (his idea) in a week. Most of my stuff is back home which is 3hrs away, so I have been using his computer in the meantime.
During my boring/ curious days I look at every folder on his computer and I noticed that he has multiple folders with pictures of him and his EX-girlfriend/ his BABY'S- MOTHER; also word documents that belonged to her.

I cant explain the FRUSTRATION I feel as I look at every single one of almost 200 pictures. Yesterday, I expressed to him for the third time how uncomfortable those pics/ documents make me feel. So today, he tells me that he separated all of it into a combined folder and will be place them in a disc asap.

I dont know what to think, what to do, what to say to him??? I am getting tired and frustrated of always having the same petty talks/ misunderstandings. They broke up shortly after we started dating. And certain things (like these pics) make me feel as if his probably not over her.
Aside from the fact that I have to deal/ accept that he has to consistently communicate with her about his 2 yr old son. I just don’t know what’s acceptable in a situation like this.

This is the harderst relationship I have ever experienced. And it hurts because he makes me happy.

PLEASE any suggestions, ideas, anything will be helpful. I feel like IM DROWNING!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 5:37pm

Welcome to the board githela,


You probably aren't going to like what I have to say, but I don't see a problem with him having pictures of her. She is the mother of his child. As long as they aren't hanging on every wall or he isn't looking at them all the time, than I just don't see a problem with it.


However, I can see how it would upset you and worry you since they were still together when you started dating.


Does he do anything besides the pictures that would show that is isn't over her?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 5:54pm

I agree. I've got photos of my exes. And my husband has photos of his exes. They're not on display, but they are easily accessable.

To be honest, if a partner wanted me to get rid of mine, I'd start re-thinking the relationship. My photos are precious to me and I wouldn't dump them for anyone.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 6:50pm
completely agree. i question the need of others to hide/get ride of/forget their past. i'm proud of my past and want to share it with those i love and care about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 7:44pm
It's not like he's pouring through them on a daily basis, right? I understand that it makes you uncomfortable, but if they were in an album tucked away in the back of the closet, would you be as bothered by them? I'm just saying that you happen to be using the computer that the photos are stored on quite frequently... so they're kind of in your face. Maybe putting them on a disc will solve the problem.