one-time cheater? or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
one-time cheater? or not?
4
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 2:47am
My Boyfriend of over year and I were apart over the summer. I was at home in NC and he was teaching in Virginia. This job required him to live in a co-ed communal space. This didn't bother me because I trusted him. Nearing the end of his program, He tells me that one night, his group were partying and were incredibly intoxicated and he ended up kissing another girl. I have had boyfriends cheated on me in the past and I dropped them quick. My current boyfriend and I are still together because it was a one-night intoxicated thing. He says that he still loves me and he had a lapse in judgement because he was "flattered." According to him, before our relationship he had trouble in the love department. What do I make of this act of "flattery"? I have no idea how to proceed. I love him, I just don't know how to deal with this act of his...please respond thank you so much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:41am

You have reason to believe it's a one-time thing and it won't happen again IF: he comes clean about it, expresses remorse, is honest, is sincere when he tells you it will not happen again, and is intent on wanting to make it up to you.

He sounds as though he is trying to be honest with you because he feels very badly about it. It could be worse, he didn't sleep with her. I think you should attempt to forgive and forget but make it clear that you won't tolerate it again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 12:52am
He didnt have to tell you... I doubt you never would have found out. And it sounds as if it were just a kiss... I think you can let it go and trust him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 2:33pm

Welcome to the board amike,


That's a tough one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 5:23pm

In my opinion, being drunk is just an excuse. Being drunk doesn't make you do things you wouldn't have done otherwise, it just lowers your inhibitions.


But he didn't have to tell you about it. Does he seem remorseful?

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