just a question
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just a question
| Fri, 08-24-2007 - 9:03am |
hey everyone, i'll try not to drag this out but it's hard for me to summarize, i've been married to my current wife, {my second}, for almost nine years now, and i had grown to trust her quite a bit,... although i'm not proud of it, i get kinda jealous sometimes, and she is well aware of it, we met at work and untill recently worked the same shift, in different departments, 4 days on and 4 days off, she decided that we should transfer to dayshift last year, and i agreed even though i knew we might not get to go at the same time, she went last Oct. and i'm still waiting to go...she recently came home and said a new guy started in their department and he was riding back and forth to work with her...she knew i wouldn't like it , and waited 'till the end of our rotation to tell me...as she knew, i got pretty angry, and told her so,...she asked me if i wanted to move out,...at the time i asked if that was what she wanted, she didn't say no, but harshly said, i should grow up, and she was just helping him out because he was recently divorced and his ex took their only car, i have been trying to mentally digest all this for over a month now, everytime i ask if he has his own way yet, she says no, and refuses to talk to me about it, and gets mad enough to cuss me and say grow up again, my question is to all you ladies...am i wrong to be upset?...i know she told me...but she could have taken the time to introduce me at work, and tell me then, and she could have told him it needed to be temporary, and she refuses to do that...now i am totally at a loss about trusting her...if she is so set on doing this, in spite of how i feel, what else will she be willing to do?...can i trust her at all?...or am i just wasting my time, because she will break my heart sooner or later?...please help...i really feel lost now....thanks, darrell

'...am i wrong to be upset?...'
Yes. You need to figure out why you have these jealousy issues and learn to control them If that means going to therapy so be it but your wife can not walk on eggshells anymore about being in the company of other men. Either you trust her or you don't. Has she ever given you reason not to?
'i get kinda jealous sometimes, '
Is this an understatement?
Clearly, you feel deeply insecure about yourself and your relationship. You've been together for 9 years. Has she cheated?
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Welcome to the board darrell1958,
First, you feel what you feel - right, wrong, indifferent - they are your feelings and you are entitled to them.