Hating his stalker ex
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Hating his stalker ex
| Mon, 08-27-2007 - 10:18pm |
I've been dating this wonderful man for 6 months, we're crazy about eachother and are already talking about getting engaged... everything is great with us. However from the very beginning we had problems with his freakshow ex g/f. He was still hanging out with her because basically she's nuts and wouldn't leave him alone and he was too "nice" to tell her off (she cheated on him and he caught her) plus they had some financial obligations together so he had already lost everything once in a bad divorce... So when I came on the scene of course she freaked out, came up to me in public after I visited him at an event and had a breakdown crying fit telling me she was still in love with him, we had to be friends, she HAD to have him in her life... so of course after that I was like listen, if you want to be friends with her that's your biz but I'm not hanging out with your ex. So he told her just to leave us both alone and move on... and that's when the real crazy came out. She told him a bunch of lies about me, and she cornered me while he was away and I was taking care of his animals, told me a bunch of crap. She chased us down the beach on horseback and made a huge white-trash scene, he's had to call the police several times to make her stop calling and coming by the house, she even sprayed me in the face with a garden hose one day when we were driving by her friends house down the road, she stole money out of the bank account they shared that he pays his bills from, she and her friends stalk me on myspace... Now I know he wants nothing to do with her and they have no contact, he would always tell me if she called or whatever and of course now she has suddenly made "friends" with the 14yr old boy next door who hangs out with us frequently so she can be "around"... I know he's not interested in getting back together with her but even though I am very secure in our relationship I am so angry with her. I find myself preoccupied with thinking about everything she's done and "repaying" her... I won't do it because I am not that sort of person but I hate being so angry all the time. It is wearing me out and I'm not sure how to deal with it, I tell myself to get over it that everything is fine but I am just fuming mad about the whole ordeal. Does anyone have any suggestions? I am not crazy but sometimes I really could do her some damage I get so angry. Worst of all I don't want to be a psycho like she is! I feel like she has infected my brain with her craziness! Does anyone have any experience getting rid of someone like this? I ignore her when she is around and so does he but it just hasn't done much so far.

Welcome to the board dixibella,
You probably won't like what I'm about to say,
I don't think you're going to like what I have to say either.
You've been dating six months, are already talking engagement, he has an ex-wife and a psychotic ex-girlfriend who he can't stand up to.
This guy has a pretty bad track record. You might be a diamond in the rough for him but being in a relationship with him might have the potential to wear you down and make you crazy - I almost wouldn't blame you. He has a lot of crap that you're supposed to deal with because he refuses to. I agree, she is HIS problem and by association she is becoming yours. This "man," instead of confronting his problems and dealing with them maturely, would rather assuage this crazy girl so that she'll stay in his life forever thinking that she has a chance with him.
Of course you're crazy about one another; after 6 months you're still in lust. I'd get rid of this guy while you can before you become another one of his crazy exes. His history is a pretty good indicator of what a relationship with him will be like.
Edited 8/28/2007 6:39 pm ET by ciao__gina
For starters, her behavior is very unusual and also very dangerous. There is an element not only of craziness, but of criminality attached to it. She has no impulse control and seems in fact to be totally obssessed with both of you. Neither of you should allow her to be anywhere near your home. You say
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