Is it time for a divorce?
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Is it time for a divorce?
| Tue, 08-28-2007 - 11:32pm |
My H and I have been married 18 years. In that time we have had four children, one with special needs, one very high maintenance and one with a tumor that has lead to a lot of health care needs. H has a high stress job. I am a stay at home mom, but feel that this has been his license to not be available. As in, "Well, I earn the income, so you handle everything else - kids, maintenance, grocery shopping, laundry, emotional issues, etc. etc." We have gone through counseling on and off for the past 11 years. I don't know that I love him anymore. I had an affair but that only lead me to realize that I really need to be in a loving relationship on a day to day basis. I ended the affair and would not leave H for another person. We disagree on how to raise the kids, we argue often, and he is not available emotionally or physically. He thinks having sex will "put things on the right track." I am looking for a part-time job just to get out of the house and bring some balance to our relationship, but whenever I have had to be gone for a time he will say "Let (our 12 year old or 17 year old) watch the other two. He has been trying harder lately, but I feel as though it's "too little too late." How do you know when to end a marriage?

Applepie!
In my opinion only!!!!
You'll know when you're sick and tired of BEING sick and tired WHEN.... you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. Does that make any sense?
I think you're on the right track with getting a part time job. You've been living your life, understandably, for everyone else but you for "You're" needs, for so long. It sounds like your H may help here, I don't know.... and it sounds like you're kids may help out too.. I don't know. But it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. Let someone else take a little responsibility for a change. Give them the torch, so to speak.
It sounds like you've been in control of your whole family unit for a long time and it makes me wonder if you're not ready to let go a little. That's also understandable. You don't know any other way. One step at a time, let a few things "grow up" so to speak. Okay?
I went to a marriage counselor for 1 year 8 months. He said that some guy's show their feelings or affection, whatever, through sex. That's all they know how to show it.
I think it would be wonderful for you to branch out and "get out there" with a part time job and not make any rash decisions at this point.
maybe you are just venting...but
i didn't read a thing about him other than complaints. what do you do wrong or what can you do better? really because you want him to change into someone he is not. i suggest you look at other changes you can make with yourself and your life.
i'd say, when you can admit you made a mistake in choosing to be with a man like your husband and when you wish to correct that mistake will it be time for a divorce.
is that time now?