dont kow what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
dont kow what to do
1
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 2:00pm
I am 20 and my bf is 22. We have been together for almost 2 years (this weekend will be 2) We live together and have been living togther for over a year and a half. I love hi to death. But we have some problems and I am not happy. I feel like Im always the one trying and I try to talk to him about things and why im not happy but he never seems to change anything. a lot of it has to do with sex. we only do it once a week if that, and only cuz he wants it. I used to initiate it but he would turn me down, so i got to the point where i dont initiate it at all anymore because i dont want him to rject me. he does maserbate and that gets me mad also because he rather do that tha do anything with me. he use to look t porn too but i made him stop esecially because he was hiding it and he would do that instead of anything with me. I always feel the need for his attention. there are times when i do not trust him. i have snooped and fond things that he shouldnt have been doing. at his old job, he was texting his coworker things that only single guys should be saying to someone. that made me lose trust in him. that hit me really hard. I dont feel he appreciates me as much as he should most of the time. I do a lot for us and him. I love him so much but i dont know what to do. I was texting him this morning while he is at work and just told him how unhappy i was and everything and he just said we really need to think this over and talk. we have dont that before but when i actually come bakc from work, we dont even talk about anything. he doesnt ever like to talk. I love him so much and dont want to leave him, but sometimes a part of me just thinks id be better off or that i deserve better. its so hard. i have never been the one to leave anyone. i am so attached to him and dont know if i would be strong enough to do it if i wanted to. I am not sure what is going to happen or if we are going to settle our problems yet. i hope wwe do tho, i dont know what will happen if things dont get settled....
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:04pm

hi,

its never to late to leave an unhappy situation- uncomfortable yes. your post reeks of sadness, you're too young and life's too short - find your own happiness!!! you depend on your bf to make you happy way too much. he doesn't want sex and you do - do you masterbate? if not, why not? i have read this and been told this that some guys like masturbation to fulfill their need and it easier for them b/c their just focussed on them and not you. is your bf a lazy lover?

you still have lots of living to do and this relationship will not be your first and probably won't be your last. what you might want to do is reflect on the good and bad of this relationship and focus on improving your self-image and self esteem, so the next guy won't have to pay for your bfs mistakes.

you really do need to think things over and if this relationship/your bf isn't fulfilling a need/complimenting your happiness- YOU need to figure out what the next step is going to be.

r u in school? if not, focus on enrolling in school and getting on w/your life. consider this relationship a lesson and gain wisdom/insight from the experience.

e.