What does "divorce" REALLY mean??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
What does "divorce" REALLY mean??
1
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 10:20pm
I dont understand this!! I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, and he's not been with his ex wife of 10 years for over a year, yet she always seems to find a way to be in OUR lives still. She still calls him for money. Is that a "normal" and "acceptable" thing to do after a divorce??? She OD's on pills and ends up in the hospital because she had a seziure, and the first person EVERYONE (including the girl they had a threesome with when they were still together) calls HIM!! Why?!? Is that normal?!? They havent been together for over a year, and rarely even speak to eachother. Why would her parents, and all her friends call him first? Do I not get the concept of divorce or is it them?? I mean.. when you get divorced, and it wasnt a mutual one, does either party typically stay "friends" afterwards?? Or do they live seperate lives, and avoid eachother at all costs?? Why.. after over a year.. are all these people still treating him like hes her husband, and notifing him when she's ill, or in the hospital??
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 10:51pm

It doesn't matter if her behavior is acceptable or normal. What matters is his reaction. If he responds to her and helps her and communicates with her then he isn't letting go of her as a friend or other. If she calls him for money then he should say no. If he gives her money then she becomes his problem and therefore your problem.

Talk to him about your concerns and feelings regarding his behavior.