um...yeah...not ok

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2004
um...yeah...not ok
3
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 12:46pm

I'm still in college, and i was exclusively dating a boy at the end of last semester for 8 weeks we hung out/ dated for the last 3 months of school, but we're intimate till the last 8. then summer break happened, and we kept in touch, at least once a week, and school started up again two weeks ago and we fell right back into dating again, he asked me to lunch, sleeping together...and then it there was a 180 degree change in him. ONe night he was telling me i was beautiful, how much fun he has with me, flirting with me a lot, paying a ton of attention to me and the next night...he told me he needed space, that this is too intense for him, but he still cares about me . i asked if he met someone else or soemthing, and he said no...and every night since then...regardless of the fact that school has started, he has been getting wasted off his ass, done coke, and gets high ...

there's a girl who hangs out at his frat a lot who i know likes him, but he doesn't pay much attention to herand she follows him around like a puppy...and according to my friends that are dating brothers there, he's not hooking up with anyone else, just getting blackout and passing out...

so i gave him two weeks of space, and went to his frat last night with some friends, he came up to me acting like nothing had happened, and we flirted/sassed/talked smack when we were opponents in a game just like we always have...and he said bye to me at the end of the night, when i went to the bathroom he stopped me asking if i was leaving ....but he was stoned out of his mindddd and had been drinking since dinner. he's told me before he likes spending time with me, but also with just the boys, and i know he's scared having a gf will cut into that and he can't get as f*cked up as he wants...but what do i do? just go about my life? see what happens? i mean, he is a 19 year old frat boy who is now living in the frat house...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 1:24pm
Do you really want to be with a guy who is perpetually stoned and drunk out of his mind? What kind of future do you see with someone like this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 2:07pm
He's changed because of his environment. It seems he's trying to choose between the life of having an exclusive girlfriend and the life of being a single frat boy who can get wasted and stoned all the time. I'd probably drop him, because that kind of behavior is really repulsive to me personally, but it's really up to you whether or not you want to be with someone who apparently is interested in being a typical frat guy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 2:23pm

Welcome to the board rosabella,


Why would you want to be with somene who is mainly interested is getting drunk and doing drugs? For me, doing drugs is the biggest dealbreaker.

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