Can't think straight anymore..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Can't think straight anymore..
2
Sun, 09-02-2007 - 10:43am
I can't stop thinking about my ex. I'm married (13 months and have been with him for 4 years before we got married) yet my ex is in my daily thoughts and dreams. I can't think straight anymore. Quite honestly, I always though I'd marry my ex. He's a wonderful man but I think we met too young. Life took us down different paths-mine I ended up married and him he's still single.
Anyway, I think about him every day. I dream about him at night-sometimes it's a dream where we're just hanging out, sometimes it's when we're "together" and sometimes it's a sexual dream.
I don't know what to do. I have TRIED to put him out of my thoughts, but when you tell yourself not to think about something or someone...you think about them more.
It's getting scary in my marriage b/c I am terrified I am going to murmur his name in my sleep or something.
I'm at a loss.....am I alone? Do other married women still dream/fantasize/think about their exes?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 09-02-2007 - 1:08pm

Welcome to the board bnandkk,


The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly one you can never have - Kierkegaard


Grief is a process. If you never grieved for what might have been, for what could have been, or for what you hoped would have been...... it's kind of normal that you feel the way you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Sun, 09-02-2007 - 2:21pm
I agree.....and I feel awful for thinking the way that I do because my husband does deserve more. And maybe I didn't grieve the end of our relationship because I never really felt it was "over". I thought we had time....to go our separate paths, gain life experiences and that someday they would come together again. And in ways, they still do come together.
The last time I saw him was 2.5 years ago. At that time, the connection was there and as strong as it was when we dated years ago. This is the person I have always compared men to...and I let him go.
It almost feels like I woke up and was in someone else's life and wonder "how did I get here". Then reality sets in that I made these decisions and I took the vows and I made the committment to be married. But we only have one shot at life and at 25 I have a full future ahead-I'm not prepared to live a "so-so" life when I could live an amazing one.