Is it wrong not to tell?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2000
Is it wrong not to tell?
1
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 9:19am

Ok so my fiance and I have a good relationship, but we both have some insecurities. Mine relate to his ex, his revolve around a male friend of mine. Now he finally told me part of the reason he is insecure about my friend is because my friend said something when we were all out dancing relating to what goes on after going out dancing (friend was very drunk and is obnoxious intoxicated)... this being said my friend and I used to go dancing together every weekend, we hung out constantly... he was my best friend for a while and we were pretty much inseperable. His g/f at the time hated me because we were close (and I suspect he had a thing for me). He moved away well before I started seeing my fiance... and it happens the weekend he was leaving I was incredibly depressed (I was losing my best friend, dance partner, etc) and we had a 2 day interlude where we were more than friends... I didn't have sex with him in the traditional sense but we did everything else... (oral, making out...) It was stupid and I was lonely and sad, and somewhat drunk when it started. In fact most of the time I just block it out because it really meant nothing.


Ok so that being said my fiance knows we spent lots of time together, skinny dipped... but I haven't alluded to more because we are just friends. Now my fiance jsut told me about what my friend said and says he is very uncomfortable when he is around... which sucks because I already invited him to the wedding.... I told him if he wants I will uninvite my friend, I am sort of feeling that way now anyways because I feel guilty. I'm also feeling guilty about not telling my fiance the whole story but I don't hang out with my friend because he moved away, we're never alone together or will be... and I know how I've felt when he's told me about his past experiences and I really hate it. Ok so what do I do???

BFP: April 4th 2010

Natural M/C: April 17th 2010 @ 6wks 5 days

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 1:19pm

Welcome to the board dixibella,


I don't see anything positive coming from your telling your finance what happened with your friend. After all, this happened before you even knew your finance. Respect that your finance is uncomfortable with your friendship, but don't tell him what happened.

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