he walked in on me w/my pal(MISTAKE)
Find a Conversation
he walked in on me w/my pal(MISTAKE)
| Tue, 02-05-2008 - 11:34am |
we had been just friends with benefits for several months.
| Tue, 02-05-2008 - 11:34am |
we had been just friends with benefits for several months.
Welcome to the board stefanieinsd,
Unfortnately he has made up his mind and this is his choice to make. You have tried everything you can to get him back. At this point, I think you need to give him some space and maybe it will reconsider. But he also might now. Sorry.
glitter-graphics.com
Welcome to the board stefanieinsd,
Right now, the more you chase, the more he will back away. Stop chasing, contacting, calling, etc.
THANKS for listening, I'm hurting.........
-S
"I am a GREAT catch!"
I don't know if getting drunk with your "PAL", telling him you want him and letting him jump on you after telling your boyfriend that you loved him and he dumped another girl to be exclusive with you makes you a "GREAT catch!" but this is simply a qualitative analysis and truly my opinion is only that...
But I echo what the others have said, you did something that he has found inexcusable (and most of the world would) and decided that he no longer wants to be with you. That's his prerogative to decide, and if you trust his decision-making ability then you should stop focusing on winning him back as though this is a game, and let him make up his mind on his own.
The thing is this....we had one particular experience with another woman one night. The way it went down with HER was really devastating to me. I loved HIM, I had not told him at this point, but agreed to share him with another woman for a night, to make both of us happy. Being involved with HER was the worst mistake. I had no idea how MUCH my HEART was going to be ripped out that night, watching the man I love with THIS particular woman. He had dated her for a little while, she confided in me that she loved him, I pretended not to care. I SAW and I FELT the passion between them and it BURNED ME INSIDE, it HURT SO BAD! (Although, I had not told him at this point and I agreed to share him that night...it was heart breaking.)
The night I messed up with my PAL....I had too much to drink and thoughts of the night with HER were stirred up and I feel those thoughts may have caused me to feel revengeful towards him. IT's NO EXCUSE for what I did, but too much alcohol is NEVER a good idea. By the way, I was dancing by myself all night and was NOT getting drunk WITH my PAL. I had WAY too much too fast...I got severely intoxicated before I could realize it.
It's not like I PLANNED it, or was having a great night with my PAL. He's not even my "type" my MAN is 100 times hotter and my PAL was NOT worth losing the man I love for. Revenge was NOT worth it, it was not a good feeling, I was NOT happy. I am sincerely apologetic and I will listen to all. I will calm down and not stress him out more. I want him to be happy, even if it is NOT with me. BUT I don't want him to FORGET I love him. HELP!
If you really want him to be happy, even if it's not with you, then you should leave him alone. If he decides he can forgive you, then he will let you know. You've apparently already told him you love him several times, so he's not likely to forget. I do think it's likely that he's not going to believe it, however.
You can say all you want that you would never behave that way again, but if a guy I was dating did this to me, I would have no reason to believe him. Especially if he insisted that it wasn't planned and it was just because he was drunk. Whose to say it won't happen again with you and some another guy? Especially one who does have the qualities that make him your type?? (saying your PAL is not even your type doesn't help your defense...)
I'm not specifically responding to your comments about your threesome because you agreed to it to begin with and, in my opinion, should have had some idea to expect those feelings of jealously, competition, etc. And, as you pointed out, revenge is not a good idea.
Again, I think you should leave him alone and focus on your own words: "I will calm down and not stress him out more. I want him to be happy, even if it is NOT with me."
Edited 2/5/2008 11:58 pm ET by little_bubba