What should I do?
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What should I do?
| Tue, 02-05-2008 - 11:33pm |
I haven't had a lot of dating experience because I have a chronic illness. Thanks to some treatments, I've been much healthier lately and now I've been on the dating scene for about a year. About 6 months ago, I met a great guy. I'll call him 'Lenny'. He has to travel a lot for his job and is often gone for months at a time. We went out twice, then he had to leave. He called me a few days after he left with a promise to call again the next week. He didn't call. I got an e-mail from him occasionally, but they were only polite, saying nothing about how he felt about me. Then he called me and said he'd be coming home again. When he was back, he called me and asked me out. I said yes and at the end of our date, he kissed me. And it was more than just a peck on the cheek, it was a full-on passionate kiss! I've never been kissed like that in my life! We went out a couple more times, then he had to leave right after Christmas. He promised to call often. I got one e-mail from him and that was it. It's been over a month since I heard from him and I don't know what to do. I've been out with other guys but I can't stop thinking about Lenny! Sometimes I want to get in touch with him and other times I think "Let him get in touch with me!" I'm scared to call him. Is it okay to e-mail him and remind him that I'm still around? I feel so desperate and I miss him so much! But I'm worried that he's found someone else. What should I do? Is there anyhting I can do? I need help!!!

Fierytopaz, I'm so glad that you're feeling better and are getting out there.
However, I'm afraid that you're
Welcome to the board fierytopaz,
It is too bad that he said that he would call you often and instead has only emailed once. Email him if you want and just something like you were wondering how he was doing and how he work was (or something along those lines). Be prepared for him going back to town and repeating this pattern again.
I think the best thing for you to do is to continue to date other people.
glitter-graphics.com
Welcome to the board fierytopaz,
You already sent an email that didn't get a response so I would let it go and I sure wouldn't want him back in my life if he's 'not that into you' just to keep his word and thereby maybe mess up your new dating opportunity.
Vent your anger in the form of an UNSENT letter.
If you haven't heard from him for a month, this is not good. The fact is that if he wanted to be in touch with you, he would have. I think it's important for you to face the reality of this situation and not develop a fantasy about this person. Some guys can be very passionate for a few moments, but if they then disappear, they are not relationship material. Some enjoy teasing a woman, others enjoy power over a woman. Whatever his psychology is, the final effect is not healthy for you. There's no reason to wait around for him or imagine that this is more than what it is. It's great that you are healthy and dating. Put him out of your mind and find someone who is truly available with whom you can spend time and buiild something that is real.
Best wishes,
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