His Deadbeat Ex Wife

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2000
His Deadbeat Ex Wife
46
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 10:07am

My husband of 2 years and I have a blended family. We have 6 kids between us, 4 which are at home.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 11:14am

Hi MDWZ!

If you think writing her and letting her know what her son costs will help you feel better, then by all means, do it. Personally, I'm with your husband on this one. The fewer tiffs between ex-spouses the better. The ability to buy your stepson a car leads me to believe that you are not in dire straights for money. When it comes to his kids and ex-wife, let your husband do what "he" thinks is right.

Jesacomi

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 11:14am

Welcome to the board mdwz,


It is unfortunate that she is unwilling to provide some financial support for her son. However, I don't see that your husband choose her over you. He choose his son. He was worried that she might actually be able to get custody of him, and he didn't want to risk that. I understand this is stressful, but I don't think you should let it have a negative effect on your marriage.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2000
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 11:29am

The two cars he bought them were loans from OUR 401k.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 11:40am

Sorry for what you're going through MDWZ. I misunderstood the situation from what I read. I've not been in your situation it must be draining. I wish you the best.

Jesacomi

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 11:45am

I don't think it's a good idea for you to essentially go over your husband's head and send the bills to his ex-wife. Your husband will probably interpret it as you undermining him, which will likely cause MORE relationship stress between the two of you, and it will definitely cause more relationship stress between the two sets of parents Adam has (his birth parents and his father and you).

Perhaps you should discuss again with your husband that some limits need to be set, and at some point Adam does need to be told "no." Or, perhaps Adam could get a job to help pay for some of his extra activities? I know I had one starting from when I was 16, even if it was just a summer job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 11:48am

Welcome to the board mdwz,


I'm a mother and a step-mother.....I can understand how you feel about your husband's ex, HOWEVER, your issue is with YOUR husband not her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2000
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 12:05pm

First of all, thank you to everyone for replying.


You are right, my DH has alot of emotional baggage with the EW and DS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2000
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 12:14pm
You are right Coltara, he did choose his son in that situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 12:20pm

What about a parenting class to help Adam?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
In reply to: mdwz
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 12:22pm

With all due respect, the XW did not write the checks or use a credit card to get you all into that kind of debt.

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