I want kids & he doesn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
I want kids & he doesn't
6
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 12:36pm

I am new here and looking for some advice.
I am in a serious relationship with a man I love with all my heart but we have recently run into some important issues we disagree on. One thing we disagree on is having children, we talked about this in the beginning and he said he wanted kids and now he is saying that he never wants kids.
We both have children from previous relationships but I want more children one day, I never would have gotten into a relationship with him if I had known this.

Any advice would be appreciated

Lilypie Maternity tickers >




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 12:39pm

Welcome to the board cancousins,


Is it a dealbreaker for you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 12:43pm
I have been thinking this over for so long now and it is on my must have list but so is he, so that makes it hard to decide.
Lilypie Maternity tickers >




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 3:45pm

If you're both dead-set on wanting opposite things, then there is no possible way that your relationship can ever hope to last. If you end up having more kids, he will feel miserable and pressured. If you don't, you will be resentful and angry. Either situation will lead to inevitable breakup.

This is a problem without a resolution. I'm really sorry. I've seen some otherwise-great couples break up over this issue, and have done so myself.

"I never would have gotten into a relationship with him if I had known this."

Then you have your answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 5:05pm

'I never would have gotten into a relationship with him if I had known this.'


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2007
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 5:45pm

I have to second Gina.


You know it's a dealbreaker, you just want to believe it isn't.


Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 8:20pm

Fortunately you found out now, before you actually got married. If having more children is a priority for you, and he clearly doesn't want any, then it seems as if this relationship is not appropriate. We can love someone very much, but if we don't have the same goals and desires about basic life issues, then even though we love the person it is not a suitable partner for marriage.


Don't waste anymore time.


Best wishes,