How do you trust again?
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| Mon, 02-11-2008 - 1:22pm |
Good afternoon,
First off, I'll give a lengthy introduction of my situation. I am newly divorced from a dead marriage. My xH was a good man, we just grew too far apart. We both agreed that it was the best situation for everyone involved, including our 5 year old daughter. We get along very well know and our truly committed to putting our child first. Things are fine on that front.
Part of the indicator to me that I was unhappy in my marriage was that I got involved in an affair with a married man. It was a 2 year ordeal. During that time he separated from his wife for 6 months, and we acted like an almost real couple for a short period of time. (I was legally separated and moving through my divorce). He then wanted to make one last attempt at his marriage and returned home. He stated that within 3 days of being back home, he knew that his marriage was over. But, he was committed to staying through the holidays. Fast forward to today, he has been legally separated from his wife and living in an apartment for a month. We are "dating", even though he tells me he loves me.
I genuinely love this man. I am deeply attracted to him, physically and emotionally. The relationship is going south very quickly though... and I will admit that it is all my fault. Being involved in an affair requires a complete destruction of your emotional health. I ended up being hurt by the situation so many times that I am so fearful of trusting him or any new man in my life ever again. I am quite happy to stay a single woman (or else I tell myself that) because I don't want to expose myself to the pain again.
Whenever I spend time with my guy,

Welcome to the board zebella29,
Can you pinpoint the hurt and mistrust? Are you afraid he's going to leave you again for his ex or even another woman?
Welcome to the board zebella29,
I don't think you will be able to trust again without giving it some time and more than likely some counseling.
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